Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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I find myself standing in the garden in the back with the phone pressed to my ear. The ringing sounds in my head and I wait eagerly and patiently for the voice on the other end of the line to sound. At this point, I'm not even surprised that the garden has become like my second home because I end up standing here a lot. Maybe a little too often to call it risk-free.

But I don't care, because if it means I can see her beautiful face for even a second, then I've achieved my goal. To be honest, I can't imagine a day when I don't at least hear her voice. I would probably die of Irina deprivation.

But it's not my fault that I feel so withdrawn from her. If we had the possibility to live out our relationship normally, where we could see each other whenever and wherever we wanted, then I wouldn't be so longing for her presence.

Not even being able to look at her for more than 5 seconds, in fear that someone might suspect something, makes me feel like I haven't seen her at all. I'm not afraid of what might happen because at this point I simply don't care about anything anymore. Only her. And that's why I'm still trying to be careful.

I know she would be devastated if something happened to me and that's the only reason I try to keep my distance. But people have to understand me too. Who would want to see their lover only under the most secret circumstances? When you are in love, don't you want to shout what you feel to the whole world?

And I might be exaggerating a bit with this, but her presence affects me like a drug, and a day without her in any form would be like a rehab facility between the four walls of my apartment. On days when I can't see her in real life, I have to video call her.

She always scolds me then, saying that I am obsessed with her, but how could I not? She's right, I am obsessed with her touch, obsessed with the way she looks at me, even obsessed with the way she does the simplest things.

Maybe I should see a doctor.

I chuckle while still waiting for her to pick up the phone. My call goes to voicemail and I pout a bit before trying again. This time I don't have to wait as long and the phone is picked up after the second ring.

"I told you you were obsessed with me." her voice rings out over the phone, sweetness melting away the rust in my ears. I immediately smile and at the teasing tone in her voice, I can't help but laugh out loud.

"I am, but you can't blame me," I say proudly, shifting my balance from one foot to the other as I have been standing here for I don't know how long. "Have you ever seen yourself?"

She giggles and all I want to do is record the sound of her giggling so I can listen to it on repeat. "I think you're forgetting that I do see myself in the mirror every day."

I look up at her window. "If only you could see yourself through my eyes." I sigh unconsciously, and I don't even hear a peep from the end of the line. "Come to the window, beautiful. I want to see you."

There's a rustle that makes me guess she was just sitting on her bed while she was talking to me and soon I see a figure move by her window. The curtain moves and the opening window reveals her cozy appearance. She looks down at me, the phone still pressed to her ear just the way I do.

"I feel so much better already." I flirt and even from this distance I can see her roll her eyes playfully and I immediately have to crack up laughing.

"You're full of crap." she laughs back.

Does it make sense that we're still talking on the phone even though she could hear me well enough if I just talked up to her? No. Are we just too busy staring at each other and admiring how well the full moon reflects on our skin? Probably.