Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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"I don't think I can be friends with you," I say, watching her reaction to that closely. I don't know if it was the right way to bring up the conversation, but it just came pouring out of my mouth.

"Oh," she murmurs, and the beautiful smile slowly fades from her features, as if disappointment has washed over it.

I look back and forth between her eyes. "It's not like I don't want to, Irina."

"Then why can't you?" she asks in a quiet voice. She looks at me with her big eyes and it almost hurts me to tell her like that, because she looks really sad, like she's lost a longtime friend.

It's kind of ironic because, in the beginning, she was the one who said she couldn't be friends with me and now I'm repeating the same words. Although I still don't know what her reason was for rejecting me, I'm sure my reason is completely different. I move a little closer to her so that there are only a few inches between us that keep our noses from touching. I've never felt this kind of tension before.

"I can't be just friends with you," I whisper, letting my gaze jump between her lips and her eyes. "That's not enough."

I watch her intently, desperately searching for any reaction, and I get lost in the process, trying to pinpoint any sign of rejection. But I can't find any, yet on the other hand, I can't find anything that makes me feel positive either. With every passing second that I wait for something to come out of her mouth, it seems like hours go by and my heart beats faster and faster so that it feels like it's about to jump out of its cage.

"Jungkook," she sighs, lowering her gaze, and she doesn't say anything else before she starts to slowly swim away. I admit, it kind of hurts to be rejected, but then again, it's not even a rejection. I just know she's debating with herself right now.

I swim after her and before she can reach the edge of the pool, I gently hold her by her arm and turn her back towards me so that she ends up colliding with my chest. Her eyes have an inexplicable gleam and expression to them, making it difficult for me to discern her feelings and thoughts. My desperation rises above coherent words.

"Please say something." I plead, still holding onto her arm until my hand drops down to hers and I link our fingers. "Anything."

"What do you want me to say, Jungkook?" she asks hopelessly as her green orbs jump between mine. "I told you from the beginning that I can't and—"

"Why not?" I interrupt her as my despair is taken over by a bit of anger. I want an explanation and the fact that she always tries to talk her way out of it with the same excuse doesn't help me at all. Why can't she?

"I just can't," she answers in a low voice. "I had to get used to us being friends, even though I can't even do that. And now you're saying you want to be more than that."

I shake my head, not satisfied with the words coming out of her mouth. "Is it me?" I ask instead. "Are you scared?"

"No it's not that." she sighs again, dropping her gaze to my chest, but I bring my index finger and thumb up to her chin, forcing her not to take her beautiful eyes off me.

"I don't know myself what exactly this feeling is, but I always want to be close to you, spend time with you, listen to your laughter." I rasp and walk a few steps forward until I have her back pressed against the edge of the pool. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same, Irina."

"Why would you even? You don't know me," she whispers, trying to find an answer. It's kind of sad to know that she doesn't understand why I have feelings for her in the first place. She's a gorgeous woman, it's actually hard not to.