Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

•15•

"Thirty-seven, thirty-eight." I groan, pushing myself off the floor over and over again. "Ugh. Forty."

I breathe heavily as I sit back on my shins, my hands planted on my hips, and I feel sweat trickling down my neck and bare torso. I try to regulate my breathing by taking long breaths through my nose and then blowing them back out of my mouth.

It's been a long time since I've had such an intense workout, and considering that I may have only exercised a total of five times in the last five months I've been here shows how much I've slacked off. Normally I could easily do eighty pushups completely at a stretch and now I barely get to half, ignoring of course that I almost died of breathlessness doing them.

Today is the day two days after I confessed my feelings to Irina. Although I wanted to meet her much earlier, she said that she has other things to do and will let me know when I can see her. And being the patient person that I am, of course, I agreed. Better late than never.

It's understandable that there are other things in life that can keep one busy, so I won't blame her for that, because after all, she sent me a message this morning that she will come over in the evening.

Despite the fact that it is already dark and no strangers are allowed to come into our dorm after this hour, I know Irina will find a way. I don't know how she does it, maybe it's her charm or her beguiling nature, but she always gets what she wants. After all, she's made it in here before, the night she kissed me so breathtakingly.

She has me wrapped around her little finger now, my thoughts just swirl around her. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing when I go back to sleep. It's the way her sweet lips stretch into a little smile while her green eyes shine vividly when she looks at me that keeps me under her spell.

I don't know what we are, we haven't really gotten to talk about it yet, but to be honest I don't want to put a label on it right away. It's too early and the emotions and thoughts are too fresh to let haste get the best of us. I want us to take our time, even though she's always in my head and I want to see her all the time.

I reposition myself on my hands, getting into the push-up position so I can finish my workout before she gets here. We haven't talked about what we're going to do, but I'm perfectly fine with her just being here so we can talk about random things. I pant hard with each movement I go deeper, almost touching the ground. The burning makes itself felt in my pecs and my arms start to shake as well.

A smile spreads across my lips as I imagine Irina coming through my door and that gives me a little more strength and motivation so that I end up with my eighty pushups done. I giggle as the memories of the day before yesterday run through my mind.

I may be crazy, but I've never enjoyed risking falling from a tree while climbing into her room more than I did with her. It felt fresh and exciting, like I was in my high school years, even though they aren't even that long in the past.

The idea, or rather the intention, of sleeping with her I really didn't have when I walked out of my dorm. I just wanted to talk to her and see her because she occupied most of my lost thoughts, but that the night would have led to such passionate and soulful intimacy was something I never imagined.

What I have been confused about since that day is whether or not she shares the same feelings with me. I was not able to really put meaning in all that we talked about and done. But judging from her intense and warm gazes, I have positive feelings.

She likes me too, right?

I mean, she wouldn't come over if she didn't feel the same way. She'd ignore my annoying ass just like she did in the beginning and put an end to all that we have. I sigh at my ramblings because they are clearly just thoughts of insecurity. I was never one to think much but just do and live my life. I should go back to that attitude and just enjoy the time with her.