Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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Long eyelashes that rest on her cheeks like wings, full and magnificent.

Lips that seem sculpted by Cupid himself to send his bows of love with.

Hair that takes on a caramel hue in the sun, but lies wild on the pillow right now like the sweetest, richest chocolate in the world.

She sleeps peacefully next to me, eyes closed and fallen into a deep slumber that I hope won't give her nightmares this time. I can't take my eyes off her, it's like my focus is on her and only her. I'm afraid that if I take my eyes off her for even a split second that I will regret it.

 

I want to enjoy every single second, every single breath that I can spend here next to her before I have to go back to reality. Out of this dream where we pretend nothing happened and back into the world where there are consequences for every single action. And I have to live with the aftermath of having been a coward, it seems.

I don't want to, really not. But something makes me reluctant to fight it as if her words of a few hours ago were the ultimate orders.

One last time.

Before I never see you again.

It is as if she has already decided without really considering my feelings. It's probably because I'm the one who started it by running away, leaving her in the fire, destined to burn alone. But one thing I overlooked is that I turned both of our hearts to ashes.

We are both bound to live with it until we are ready to face the consequences of our actions. Time heals all wounds they say and maybe that is what we need and who knows, maybe we will rise stronger from the ashes.

Judging people and thinking their decisions are stupid is what always comes very easy to others, but someone who has never been in a similar situation will probably never understand how much it hurts. Letting go is one thing, but forgetting is more painful as the memories burn deeper into your heart the more days and weeks go by.

I can't say of myself that I made the best choices. Probably even everything I have done so far has been idiotic behavior, but I don't know how to get out of this situation. I don't know anything other than running away from my problems because it's the only thing I've done so far. What I have seen so far.

I sigh as I stroke the soft strands of hair out of Irina's face with my hand and it breaks my heart as a small smile appears on her lips as she sleeps. I can't help but unintentionally mirror the smile because no matter what she feels and shows, I feel the same.

I wonder if she is aware that I am still lying next to her, and in fact have not slept all this time to enjoy the last hours of her closeness. Her slow and deep breathing, in turn, tells me that her consciousness is beyond this world and that she is just flying through some dream realms. Maybe even with me by her side.

You are the most beautiful dream I've ever had, she said sleepily just before she could no longer resist the heaviness of her eyelids. Her fingers stroked my bare skin and I would have sworn my chest burst with warmth.

I'm here and I'm real, I said back, almost in a small protest, because I wanted her to notice my existence and not lose and forget the thought of me. It hurt to imagine that she envisioned everything we had only like a dream. Surreal but beautiful.

I know, but it will be easier for me to forget you, she whispered, afraid her voice would break through the pain if she spoke just a little louder. But she didn't even realize that she had broken something else.