Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

•22•

Jungkook

We come to a stop after what feels like an eternity. I couldn't even really comprehend how I was driving or how the road led us to this place. It seems like this place among all the trees with the view of the night city has a special impact.

The blood is still running like crazy through my veins as if someone is pumping on purpose to make sure all my cells get enough oxygen. The muscles in my face feel paralyzed from the constant clenching of my jaw and pulling my eyebrows together. My knuckles have turned white, gripping so hard they can almost crack the steering wheel into a thousand pieces.

I'm enraged, the blood is coursing through my body like boiling water as if it's intent on making me explode every second. My head hurts, I can't think straight. All I can see is the dark night before my eyes as if I were a bull focused on the red flag.

I am a ticking time bomb that could blow up at any moment.

But at the same time, I am bewilderingly disappointed. It feels like everything is falling apart around me. Everything I've known, seen, felt so far is just a big lie and I've been pulled back into reality. The reality is flowing down my back like ice-cold water as if someone had poured a bucket over my head to take me out of the dream world where everything was perfect and just too good.

I should have seen it sooner.

I bring the car to a complete stop, the silence that reigns right now is sickening, but the hurricane that rages within me is deafening. The demons inside me are urging me to scream at the top of my lungs, to give voice to my despair and anger. To do something.

But I don't know what.

I turn off the engine after keeping a good distance from the edge, aggressively turning the car key in the ignition so that the key almost breaks in two. Hitting my hand against the steering wheel, I push open the driver's door and slam it shut hard enough to make it reverberate throughout the trees.

I leave the car's headlights on, the glow illuminating my view a bit and hitting me, blinding me as I pace up and down. I can't stay still in one spot because I'm overwhelmed with my feelings and thoughts like I've never been before.

What actually happened? Everything passed as if in a split second and I don't think my brain could quite catch up and follow along. One moment I'm following Irina, the next I see some guy pulling a gun on her and the next we're in a car chase like in the movies.

I squint at the car through the glare of the headlights, but I can't make out anything. The dark windshield blocks my view, but honestly, I don't even know if I want to see her face right now. I don't know if I can look into those captivating green eyes without losing focus. Without forgetting what just happened.

I wait for her to get out of the car, but for some reason, it seems to take her longer. Maybe it's shame or guilt, but I couldn't care less because she has things to explain and questions to answer. I run my hand through my hair in frustration, only now realizing how drenched in sweat I actually am.

I can't remember the last time I was this worked up and hyperventilating. Sure, I love exciting things that make my heart beat out of its cage and feeling my soul come to the brink of leaving my body, but this is definitely not one of them. Almost dying definitely doesn't belong in the same category.

Getting annoyed, I place my hands on my hips and turn to the car with my full body, showing that I'm waiting for her because I know she's been watching me the whole time. I can literally feel her eyes on me, even though my vision is blocked by the blinding headlights.