Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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Jungkook

I finish up my work on the computer, ready to finally go home after a busy day. I won't have much to do since I won't be stopping by Nikolai's today, so maybe I'll watch a movie or just sleep through the evening.

I'm so damn tired these last few months, I can hardly describe it. Working in two different places with two different skill sets has left me mentally and physically drained. Constantly changing my attitude is not that easy, but I've managed it well so far.

And of course, let's not forget the fight between me and Irina. I can't get rid of how idiotic I've been acting and she has every right not to forgive me. I didn't slut-shame her, but I can understand that it came across that way for her.

I know she knows full well that I would never think such a thing, but then again, my words and behavior have tended in that exact direction. I wanted closure on this whole thing, but Taehyung managed to screw it all up.

I'm still so very upset with him and the last few days he's seen that very well. I'm sure he doesn't care what I think or how I feel but Irina has a different spot for him. They also don't talk to each other and that just makes me assume that he broke the trust between them by doing this.

You don't go around telling a secret that was promised never to be talked about again. I just feel bad that Irina is the one who suffers the most from this, which is actually both of our faults.

If we could have been at least a little grown-up and not let our jealousy guide us, then none of this would have happened. But I can't change it anymore, I can't make it unsaid and that's why I have to find a way how to apologize.

To be honest, I'm already despairing because I've actually tried countless times, but she doesn't seem satisfied with any of them. Wrong answer? What's that supposed to mean? Is there a right way to apologize other than emptying out your sincere feelings?

But I haven't given up yet and I won't until I win her heart again. I'm just as persistent as I was when we weren't dating, and I know it won't be long before she lets the ice melt between us.

I could see it in her eyes the last few days. I tried to pretend I didn't notice, but the way she practically ate me up with her deep stares made even me tense up in a panic that someone might notice. She really is fearless when it comes to the things she wants so badly.

And it's such a turn-on.

She knows what she wants and she's decisive about her behavior. She knows what she's doing and I don't know anything hotter in a woman than the willpower she shows. I've tried to seduce her unobtrusively, but I'm not sure it's worked because she's continued to stare at me with a blank expression, which she hasn't always succeeded in doing.

I know she misses me as much as I do.

I mean we can't even really spend time together when we aren't fighting, but seeing her walk in front of me now in those clothes and her scent is driving me crazy. I don't know how long I can stand her torture because she seems to do it on purpose. She will eventually be the death of me. I'll tell you.

Anyway, I type the last data into my excel sheet, and making sure I have saved the document, I mail it to the appropriate colleagues for further processing. My work is done for today so I pack my things and after wishing Daniel a nice week because we won't see each other again until Monday, I head for the elevators.

On the way, I bump into Mr. Smith who was at the university today for his lectures. I couldn't attend because of the assignments I was given, but it's not like I can complain about it. His thin lips stretch into a friendly smile the closer we get.