Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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Irina

We are sitting at the dining table again and this time I am actually eating something. It's not much, but it's enough to satisfy my growling stomach and put some energy into my body. I appreciate that Jungkook cooked me something because no matter what the maids prepare, it doesn't go down my throat like what he prepares for me.

I still don't know how to feel. I can't quite grasp what has happened in the last few weeks and my brain refuses to waste energy on it. Even though I hate to admit it, I can't say that much of my hope is left. Every day that passes robs me of more and more of what keeps me going.

Had it not been for Jungkook I don't even know what I would have done. He is always by my side, making sure I am okay if that is even possible. If it wasn't for him, I probably would have already gone out to look for my father.

Taehyung and he convinced me that if I just acted on my impulse even though I begged them to let me go, it would only make the situation worse. It took a lot of strength to finally listen to them even though inside I still can't quite agree.

My inner voice is telling me that my father is still waiting for me somewhere and wants to be rescued.

Apparently, Taehyung and Jungkook have everything under control, whatever that means. I have no choice but to trust them, so I stopped fighting them. Whatever happened the day I received the box has something to do with everything. But I'm afraid to ask, afraid of having the hope in me crushed.

They definitely know more than I do, but they haven't told me. Maybe because they don't want to hurt my feelings or maybe because they can really bring my father back to me and that's why I don't want to cut through their plans by doing something rash.

I don't want to play the worst in my head, I'm too weak for that. I don't know if I could stand to lose my father as well, and that's why I'm still holding on as tightly as I can to the hope of the opposite. I am afraid of the truth.

Only I know what I went through after my mother died. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to go through the same thing again.

"Are you tired yet?" Jungkook asks as I look at my empty plate. The smaller portions make it seem like I'm eating well. I shake my head as my long sleep until late noon has helped me. "How about we sit in the living room, hmm?"

I don't have it in me to look at his smiling face and not be able to return the smile, which is why I just nod my head. I know that all he's trying to do is cheer me up and make me smile, which I appreciate, but I just can't. And I don't want to ruin his mood with my misery.

We all get up from the table together. Sora has been staying here ever since everything happened, helping me a lot with things, especially women's things. I've recently become so depressed that I can't even bring myself to take a shower by myself and she's the one who helped me with that. It could have been Jungkook doing it, but I somehow feel more comfortable when a girl does it. I don't want him to see me at my lowest.

I don't bother clearing the table and I don't think Sora and Taehyung have a problem with that. I walk into the living room with Jungkook following me before I plop down on the couch. Jungkook sits down next to me and the first thing I do is put my head on his shoulder.

It's crazy how much I need him to keep me from completely crumbling. I'm not usually a person who seeks a lot of strength from other people and I'm able to deal with my pain on my own. But ever since Jungkook came into my life, I seem to get all my strength from him.