Change For Me

34. not a good morning

~~~~

"Shit!" I look at my reflection and my first instinct is to frantically run out the bathroom. "Where's Sofie?"

My cabin mates stare at me weirdly. Especially after my abrupt exit, I don't blame them. "She went to Maria's dorm. Why?" Lisa furrows her brows.

"Nothing..." I shrug, almost out of breath because of the adrenaline.  "I just need to talk to her—where's their dorm?"

"The last door, down the hall," Lisa tells me and I nod appreciatively. I look around the room once, at their curious glances, before quickly leaving the room. I can't bare to stand under their stares.

"What happened to her?" is the last thing I heard.

I run down the hall, cautious of the monitors and teachers, until I bump into someone. "Sofie omg!"

I'm exasperated.

"What's wrong?" She notices my distress.

I can't explain my situation in the setting we're in. Everyone's nosey. "I need your help now," I pull her back towards our room. "May I use your makeup and can you help me?"

"Yeah of course," she smiles, opening the door to our room.

It falls silent when our group sees Sofie. It's been awhile for them too. As we head to the washroom, I can feel her discomfort.

Recently Sofie has been drifting away from our group.

I'm the first one to notice.

I've known that she wanted to be with Maria's group instead of ours. She seems to not get along with the rest of the girls than I do, and it's my fault—I know it is. At first I was annoyed—more jealous—but I don't stop her from having fun. I want her to, so I ignore it.

It's honestly torture hearing them mention how distant she has been. I sit awkwardly, listening to them ramble about how it's not fair, how Sofie should be hanging out with us more, and not going into other dorms.

She's my best friend. And that's why I respect her. I let her do her own thing. I'm not bothered by it anymore because I want her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else's group.

"What did you need help with?" Sofie closes the bathroom door behind us. She reaches toward her makeup bag in a hurry when she realizes how desperate I am.

"This," I pull over my hoodie to show the few hickeys that Jae has decided to give me.

Last night, while preparing for bed, I was very careful to not let the other girls see...you know.

Once my eyes landed on the few prominent and faint-looking ones, I started to panic. It was very noticeable and hard to forget. I had no clue on how to cover it up and panicked, considering:

1) I don't have makeup (or the skills)
2) I wore my last clean hoodie the other night (I shouldn't have allowed my mom to handle my 'what to pack?' list)
3) my parents (this is the biggest factor out of them all)

I'm so worried of what will happen at home—how the hell am I supposed to hide them? So, out of stress, I pushed the challenge in the back of my mind before going to sleep. I then told myself that I would handle the predicament in the morning.

Well...it's the morning.

"What the fuck Ellie!" Sofie's eyes bulge out. Her reaction doesn't calm me one bit. "Who the hell gave you that?" She seems shocked? Angry? Proud?

I cover her mouth, knowing they can hear us. "I'll tell you when we're alone but please, can you help me?" I beg.

I'm on the verge of tears.