Under the clouds (Guevarra Series 2)

Simula

They say love is the only permanent thing in life. That is also what I always believe. Parang nakatatak na sa puso ko ang mga katagang iyon mula pagkabata. Everytime someone would ask me what is the most important thing in life, or what will I choose between love or money...

I'll certainly go with love.

Because with love, I can feel that someone cares for me. Someone's willing to look for me. Someone's going to miss me. Someone's going to embrace my flaws and imperfections. Someone's going to stay beside me even if the world is against us. Even if fate is against us.

I always want to find that one great love. Maybe that's the reason why I got into relationships at an early age. I want to find someone who's willing to fix everything for me because I am so weak to fix myself alone. I entered relationships so early, got broken, met another person along the way, developed mutual understandings, tried to heal myself every heartbreak, got lost, became wasted so many times, stopped for a couple of months to mourn like someone just died and then moved forward again like nothing happened.

Some people say that I am too young to make love my first priority rather than studies. But it didn't affect me. Heartbreaks and mistakes didn't make me stop from searching because maybe, what I really wanted was to prove myself that I could do things right. That I am not just a mistake. So when I look behind me in the mirror, I'd see someone worthwhile, staring down at me saying that he's willing to lift me up from my miserable life.

"Alis na po ako." pagpapaalam ko kay Papa nang sumilip ako sa kwarto niya. I saw him awake already, but when I opened the door, he pretended, again, that he's not.

I figured out that it's way better treatment from him rather than having him shout at me. My father is a bed-ridden. Nakakalakad pa siya pero sobrang bagal at kinakain niyon lahat ng lakas niya. Matagal na siyang ganiyan, elementary pa lang ako ay hindi na siya nakakapagtrabaho. Si Tita Christine lang na isang teacher ang nagbibigay sa akin ng baon at sumasagot sa lahat ng gastusin ko sa pag-aaral.

"Ano G ba tayo mamaya?" nakasalubong ko sa gate si Warton habang papasok ako sa SLSU. I am still a senior high school student while he's second year college.

"G ako palagi. Hintayin niyo ako lumabas ha." I told him. Tumawa lang siya at ginulo ang buhok ko.

"Oo na, kailan ka naman namin iniwan?" umikot ang mata ko.

"Baka palagi niyo akong nilalaglag." naalala ko na kapag may pinagtataguan akong tao, palagi na lang nilang isinisigaw ang pangalan ko kaya nalalaman ng taong iyon na pinagtataguan ko siya. Palagi nila akong pinapahamak at pinagtri-tripan. Pero kahit ganoon, hindi naman nila ako pinapabayaan.

"Sige mamaya na lang. Text niyo ako kapag labas na kayo!" kumaway ako sa kaniya at tumakbo papunta sa classroom ko.

"Wala kang cellphone, gago!" sigaw niya sa malayo.

Tumawa ako at pumasok na lamang sa classroom. Nagulat ako nang may madatnan na akong teacher na nakaupo sa table sa unahan. Sa takot na masita ay kaagad akong nagtungo sa upuan ko at saka nagtanong sa katabi kung anong oras na. Napagtanto ko na hindi pa naman pala ako late. Maagap lang talaga ang teacher namin.

"Parang bago yata 'yang teacher na 'yan ah? Ngayon ko lang nakita." mahinang anas ko sa katabing si Camille.

"Hindi mo kilala? Si Guevarra iyan." mahina siyang tumili at naglulupasay sa upuan niya. Ngumiwi ako.

"Sinong Guevarra? Naging teacher na ba natin dati?" takang tanong ko. Hindi ko pa kasi talaga nakikita ang teacher na iyan. Mukha rin siyang bata at kaedaran lang namin.

"Siraulo. Si Jacques Guevarra kasi 'yan. Second year engineering student." mahina niya akong pinitik sa ulo.

"Student? Bakit nandito? Bakit nasa senior high school siya kung ganoon?"