Gusto nyo to? Haha. Okay, 2nd update today 😘 Sakalin na natin si Bendicto Luis?!
Ben
Nakatingin ako kay Kaia habang naglalakad syang palayo.
"Did you see how I've hurt her Andrea? Do you think she'll leave me soon?"
"I am sorry I've fallen for her."
I've been living as if I am being torn left and right after I proposed to Kaia. One part of me wants to live and stay with my wife while one part of me keeps being guilty. Everytime I am seeing Kaia, I admit feeling happy but behind that happiness, lagi kong nakikita ang duguang katawan ni Andrea.
I should have not dared to show my feelings to Kaia, I should have not let them see through me. Hindi ko na sana ginulo pa ang buhay nya, hinayaan ko na lamang sana hanggang sa umalis sya ng kusa na hindi nasasaktan ng ganito. Nakuntento na sana akong tinitingnan na lamang sya gaya nung mga unang araw nya.
I sighed.
My tear ducts dried up long time ago. If not, baka hindi na tumitigil ang luha ko sa pag-iyak ngayon.
I like to love Kaia and be happy with her just as I promised to her parents but how can I do that? Everytime I close my eyes, I am seeing Andrea dying over and over again.
Back then I promise my whole world to Andrea. I actually made her my world and she did the same to me. Bata pa lang kami, I already envisioned my future, our future together. Andrea wanted the wedding by our cathedral, she wants the reception be beside the beach, and a house near the river. She wanted us to have baby boys, gusto daw nya puro mga barako para may magaalaga daw ng farm. She was even excited to have daughters-in-law na tutulungan sya sa mga bulaklak nya. That's already how far we are. But things happened.
It was one Saturday night when my friends throw a party for me. Malapit na kasi kami ikasal ni Andrea. Andrea told me not to go, baka nga daw malasing ako but I did not listen. I assured her that I will come back soon pero inumaga na kami sa inuman. Unfortunately, I got an accident. Nabunggo ako sa puno kaya nasira yung kotse. I had several injuries but I am not critical. What's devastating is Andrea panickly drove going to me and she met an accident too. She bumped into a big truck.
She was brought to the hospital but she died right after I held her hand.
My world collapsed when the doctors announced her death.
When she died, I tried so much to end my life too. I tried killing myself endless times. Bumalik lang ako sa kagustuhang mabuhay dahil napanaginipan ko si Andrea na ibinibilin yung orchids nya.
From then on, I live because I am alive. I do not try so much. I just work hard so while I am still alive, I could give something to my mother and Amelia. I pray day and night that I die so I could be with her again.
Wala na sa isip ko ang mag-asawa o ang magmahal ulit. Ni hindi ko nga naisip na tumingin sa ibang babae, kaya naman nung dumating si Kaia, ganon ko na lamang kaayaw.
Because upon seeing her beautiful face, I can feel that Kaia will be a different story.
"Boss, umiinom ka na naman po."
"David."
"Boss, anong nangyari? Akala ko ba okay na kayo ni Ms. Kaia?"
Uminom ako ulit.
"Boss, tama na po."
"David, si Andrea."
David sighed and take a seat infront of me.
"Ben, wala na si Andrea, limang taon na, hindi mo pa rin ba nakakalimutan ang lahat?"
"David nangako ako na sa buhay kong ito, sya lang ang mamahalin ko."
"Pero wala na nga sya, si Ms. Kaia na ang andito."
"Kapag ba wala na ang isang tao, hindi ka na tutupad sa pangako mo?"
"Mahal mo ba si Ms. Kaia?"
"Mas madali sana David kung hindi ko na lang minahal si Kaia."
David sighed.
"Anong gusto mo mangyari?"
"Gusto ko iwan na lang ako ni Kaia, gusto ko hindi na sya madamay sa magulo kong buhay. Gusto kong maging masaya sya ng wala ako."
"Sigurado ka Ben?"
I drink one straight bottle.
"Hindi pero yun ang dapat. Hindi ko na dapat inentertain itong sa amin ni Kaia."
"Alam ko naman ang sakit na nararamdaman mo Ben, pero sana this time, naiisip mo rin ang sakit na ipinapasa mo kay Ms. Kaia. All this time, she endured you. Sana naman, ibigay mo sa kanya ang pagkakataong malayang umalis nang hindi nasasaktan."
I drink and drink again and again until I lose all my feelings. I want to see Andrea, I want to see her badly because I want to say sorry. I can't stop loving Kaia so she needs to stop loving me for us to end this misery.
Sinasabi kong gusto kong iwan ako ni Kaia but I think I will die missing her instead. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, hindi ko na alam ang iisipin ko.
