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"She must have been Baby Santiago."
I sighed hearing my mother. Alam ko naman yun and more than anyone, seeing my baby not carrying my surname is painful enough.
"Alana Ariella Santiago, that should sound flattering to our hearts but she'll be registered as Alana Ariella Seigfreid."
"Does this makes you happy Ben? Is seeing your daughter this far enough for you? You can't even hold hands with her even go near her."
How can I still take back time? How could I even face my wife and ask forgiveness?
"Is you being absent while your wife gives birth worth than that stupid ego?"
I sighed.
When Kaia left, my world stumbles again. I wanted to be happy, I really do. Kaia is my happiness but how could I forget the promise I made to Andrea?
Andrea died because of me. She had an accident because of me. I promised her I will not replace her, I promise her she'll only be the one I will love for the rest of my life. I swear to my life that I will keep loving her until my last breath.
But Kaia came and I got lost.
I forgot about everything else. Kaia made me truly happy, Kaia made me believe in love again, Kaia made my tomorrow something to look forward to. Kaia save me from wanting to die.
When Kaia went back here, I missed her so much I just stalk her a lot. I saw how Mama and Amy bond with her every week, I knew how she struggled during her pregnancy, I knew how her life was because I was there. I may be few meters away but I was there. There are more than a hundred times that I'd wanted to just hug her.
Now, how could I? I wanted to go and kiss my daughter but I can't because I do not deserve to.
Mama left and I stayed. I'll stay as long as I can, I'll stay as long as I need to. I really haven't gone home yet, mula kahapon, lagi lang akong naghihintay ng viewing time. Kaia woke up yesterday according to the nurses. I actually take a peek at her room last midnight to see her. Unfortunately, Mommy Mara and Ate Ysa were there and I couldn't go any nearer because I am afraid to be shot to death this time.
You're a day old already my love, I love you and Mommy so much baby. I whisper.
