Every Lies of Love (Fernandez Series #3)

19

Song- Day 1 by Honne, Kiss me by Ed Sheeran

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"Daddy.." 

Huminga ako ng malalim at umupo sa tapat na upuan ni daddy. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin at bumuntong-hininga. Iyon pa lang ay alam ko na alam na niya ang nangyari. Nagawi ang tingin niya sa may palapulsuhan ko kaya binaba ko pa ang long sleeve ng hoodie ko. 

Lumunok ako at nagbaba ng tingin. Hindi siya nagsalita at nanatiling nakatingin sa akin. Nakaramdam na ako ng kaba.

"I just want to say sorry for what I said to Divine the other day." I bit my lip. "I was just mad at that time." 

He sighed. "You shouldn't tell that to me. Tell that to Divine." 

I looked at dad. His voice is cold. Halatang galit siya sa sinabi ko kay Divine. I mean, may karapatan naman talaga siya na magalit sa akin. Hindi tama ang sinabi ko kay Divine and I should be guilty about it. Hindi ako pinalaki ng ganoon ni Daddy. 

"Why, Jeila? Why do you hate Divine so much?" Dad asked. 

I looked at my hand that are currently shaking. Sobrang kinakabahan ako. This is the first time dad talked to me like this. Sobrang seryoso. Nakakatakot. 

"Your promise to mom.." I whispered. "You promised mom.. You promised her.." 

Naramdaman kong tumayo si Daddy at tumabi sa akin. I am in the verge of breaking down and I am trying my best to stop that. Ang daming tanong sa isip ko at alam kong kailangan ko iyon itanong ngayon. Kailangan ko ng sagot.

"Sabi mo hindi mo siya papalitan.. Sabi mo kami lang." I whispered. "You broke your promise." 

Naalala ko pa nung mga panahong nasa ospital kami at naka-confine si mommy. Akala ko pa noon ay agad din kaming lalabas, na agad din gagaling si mommy. Pero hindi, nawala siya sa amin.

"Your mom wanted me to make you happy." Dad started. "Akala mo ba ay hindi ko napapansin na naiingit ka sa iba mong kaibigan noon, anak?" 

I looked at dad and my heart clenched when I saw how his eyes pooled with tears. 

"Noong mga panahon na sinabi mong nagmo-model ka ay naging busy ako hindi kita masamahan at sobrang pinagsisisihan ko iyon, Jeila." He trailed off. "I know much you wanted to have a mom. Simula nung mamatay ang mommy mo hindi nawala ang sakit sa mga mata mo." 

Napayuko ako. As much as possible I tried to hide the pain I'm feeling, specially to dad. Alam kong nasasaktan pa rin siya at ayaw ko na dagdagan pa iyon. I tried to show that I'm happy. Pero aaminin ko, naiingit ako sa iba. 

Before mom died, I always tell her that I wanted to be a model. That I want to walk in the runway. And she's very supportive. She always praises me and even thought me how to walk like a model. My mom and I were very close.