There's no guiding light
No end to the darkness
surrounding, suffocating darkness
It hurts to think, to breathe
Scared to feel
Scared to close my eyes
For fear of what I'll see
Hiding behind denial
Pushing everyone away
I can't take all the emotion
Overloaded
Memories
I can't lose them
I can't lose the pain I keep
Deep inside my heart
Tearing me apart
Disguise it behind this mask
Sugarcoat all I can
Pretend it's not so bad
I'm sick of trying to hide
No more pretending to be fine
Just a warning, what you might find
Won't be much
Will be broken
But it's still there
It's not perfect
May disappoint
But I'm not as fine as I seem
Okay is a relative term
Cracked
That's what I am
Take me or leave me as I am
Every time I want to give up
I can't find the strength to let go
Something is holding me back
And secretly I'm thankful
Not sure how much you can see
Though this glass house
May seem sturdy
It's more fragile than it seems
Can't stand any longer
Ready to fall
Can't run from my fears
Time to face my demons
Head on, all alone
Not sure I can so this
But I need to give it a try
If I fall, I lose it all
Not much left
But what there is
Means that much more than it did
Last breath
Open my mouth
No words come out
Can't speak
Can't seem to say what I mean
What I feel
What I think
What I want you to figure out
Need you to know
Frozen here
Alone
No where to go
Not sure what I'm feeling
All I know is
It's not easy
I don't like how it feels
Afraid to open up
For fear of what you'd say
What you'd do
If only you knew
Everything isn't black and white
Stuck somewhere in the grey between
The middle ground
Left with nothing but questions
Missing the answers I need
Puzzle pieces
Don't seem to fit
Something is wrong
But I can't figure out what
Losing my faith
My hope
Sanity?
Not sure I even know
What that is anymore
Lost all certainty
That I was okay
That I'll ever be the same
It's not going to be the way it used to
I miss the way things were
Simple?
Not anymore
Hate feeling lost
But that's just what I am
Drowning in a sea of
Emptiness and pain
Afraid to speak up
No one will see me
No one will hear my plea
Help me
Before I sink
Too deep to be found
No one will miss me when I'm gone
But I will miss out on too much
Just need a friend
An anchor
Something to hold onto
Someone to brighten my day
Lighten the load
Take some of the weight from my shoulders
That I've taken for yet others
Their pain means more
Their happiness is more important
They need this
They missed out on things
I can't give back
What they've never known
But I can make the best
Of what they do have
Don't take for granted
What may soon be lost
Out of reach
Too far
Too much
Too little
Don't lose sight of what matters
It won't be around forever
YOU ARE READING
With Broken Wings (2013)
Poesía"Take these broken wings and learn to fly again." This is my own personal story of overcoming my demons and my grief. I define my recovery. ι'ℓℓ вє уσυя ѕнσυℓ∂єя тσ cяу ση, уσυя яσcк ωнєη уσυ'яє ησт ѕтяσηg ι'ℓℓ вє уσυя нєαят ωнєη ιт'ѕ вяσкєη, му α...
