Breaking

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you don’t notice

as my sleeves get longer

and me words shorter

as i cry myself to sleep

in the next room over

you miss the bloodstains

that i wiped from the floor

last night

and the way

that I never seem to smile

anymore

you never question

why i wear things long enough

to cover my scars

because winter is coming

and i must be cold

the light in my eyes has faded

and sometimes i wonder

if this is more than i can handle

you don’t know how many times

i’ve debated crossing that yellow line

and just giving up on it all

you cannot see

the ways that your words

eat away at me

because despite how hard i try

and how much i want this

i am never good enough

and maybe

if I starve myself

to look lovely

like you want me to

you’ll stop complaining

about everything else

that is wrong with me

long enough to forget

that i’m not perfect

for a while

because i need you to understand

that you cannot fix me

by holding my head under water

And asking me why

i find it so hard to breathe

i promise it’s enough to break me // m.p.

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