With Broken Wings (2013)

Suffocating

Another little short story about what I went through after losing him, not all true because my family are not that close but sometimes I wish it was.

I set down the phone and stumbled down the stairs towards the front door, everything else forgotten but the need to escape, to get out of here. It suddenly felt like I was suffocating.

I didn't bother grabbing my cell off the table beside the door, I was barely aware of the fact that I had slipped my feet into a pair of turquoise flip flops before I pushed the door open and let it slam shut behind me.

The sound reverberated trough the house as it hit the frame with a loud  smack. I urged my feet forward, not knowing were I was going, just that I needed to keep moving. 

After a while I picked up the pace, no longer walking but running instead. I let my feet lead, my head too confused to pay attention to what direction I was headed and soon hit a flat out sprint.

By the time I recognized my surroundings I must have been a mile and a half from home. I didn't care. As I ran my legs began to ache from the effort, lungs burning as I struggled to breathe. I really needed to take up running again.

As the sound of waves lapping against the shore got louder I began to relax. Almost there. I could see the patch of sandy beach in front of me growing larger by the second.

I was so busy staring at my destination that I forgot to look where I was going and tripped over the blocks of cement separating the parking lot from the beach. Thankfully I landed on the sandy side but as I pushed myself up off the ground I noticed that my knees had been scraped, not badly.

It didn't matter. I ignored the muted stinging sensation and pulled myself upright again. I wasn't there yet. Not quite. I padded down across the soft sand to a small secluded section of beach that couldn't be seen from the parking lot.

There I slipped off my shoes and let my feet sink into the cool sand. It was both rough and soft at the same time. It felt nice and I let myself relax just that little bit more. I dropped the flip flops that had been dangling from one hand and slowly made my way towards the water.

As the sand got wet and cold I kept going. It felt squishy and packed together beneath my bare feet. I continued on until the frigid water began to climb slowly over my toes. 

I ignored the chill and kept walking, goosebumps shooting up over my legs and arms as I hugged myself in an effort to keep some of my body hear closer.  When the water reached mid-calf I stopped.

I let my hands reach out from my sides and relished the feeling of the wind caressing my body. It was cold, a sharp stinging sensation running across my exposed skin and reminding me that I was still alive.

I stared out at the sun beginning to set far off in the horizon. The sky was painted in shades of pink, orange and purple as though some artist had stood on one of the fading clouds, painting it in broad brush strokes as far as the eye could see. 

I stood there for a moment, just taking in the view. I felt numb, empty, hollow. It was as if all of this was nothing more than a dream. Only the freezing water lapping against my legs and the sharp breeze reminding me that this was indeed reality. 

My eye fluttered closed as I let my hand fall back against my sides and my hair continue to dance in the wind.  It blew lazily across my face, brushing my chest before quickly fluttering away again. The icy water was beginning to burn my calves slowly, my feet feeling half-frozen and beginning to go numb already.

I peeled my eyes open and slowly  looked around. The stars were beginning to twinkle in the faint light that remained, reflecting off of the surface of the ocean as I continued to stand, frozen, like a statue.