Illuminated Memories (La Lune Series #1)

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When I opened my eyes in an unfamiliar room, my eyebrows furrowed as I close my eyes again, the sudden brightness almost made me blind. The last thing that I remember was fainting inside of my car after seeing Clive eating with someone else.

Come to think of it, that was kinda stupid of me to do that, but maybe I was just too clouded by the familiar feeling that it gave me. My eyes widened when I once again remember those scenarios that played out on my head, before my eyes - basically, the reason why I fainted.

I didn't know that the cause of our break up was that deep and it unknowingly keeps on shattering my heart into tiny pieces. After all this time, even if I forgot about it or now that I finally remember it, the pain is still too strong for me to take. As much as I love and understand Penelope. What she did was unforgivable.

She knew that I have a relationship with Clive, yet she still proceeded on doing what she did. And the worst part, Clive didn't even heard my side of the story and what truly happened.

Even I, myself, didn't know and still don't know the exact reason on why he got so mad at me. And the fact that my feelings are still blooming and staying strong for he already planted himself in my heart - scares me. How could I let myself fall in the devil's arm? Again?

Remembering my promises that I didn't remember and didn't achieve, the shame was big that it almost ate me whole. I run my palms down my face after sitting up.

This is messed up.

Clive clearly took advantage of me and I am certainly hating him for that. I let out a heavy sigh and shake my head for the overbearing disbelief that I'm feeling is too high for me to cope up with. The anger, disgust, pain, and resentment was eating my whole heart. Well, who wouldn't hate a person who not only didn't trust you, but a throws you away without even knowing what actually happened?

The way he didn't stop himself to listen to me speaks high enough that he doesn't trust me enough to believe in whatever I have to say. Looking back, I feel so stupid to believe in his words that I doubt are a bunch of lies. He's a business man after all. Business men can do anything to make their client agree to their offer. And me being stupid, fell for his trap.

I groaned, gripping my hair with both of my hands. I don't want to do anything with him or be near him ever again, even if it pains me. The pain was too overbearing to control. I look up at what I am currently at, my eyes narrowed at every little details of the room. The scent and the dark but clean theme of the room was too familiar for me t deny. I let out a chuckle in disbelief, shaking my head.

Just then, the door of the room, in my left, opened, revealing the devil himself. He stilled when he saw my state but immediately smiled. "Hon..."

I looked away almost instantly. I can't stare at him longer than a minute, it brings back so many painful memories that I wish I didn't wished to remember any of it. Mabuti nalang sanang natira nalang na mga alaala na hindi ko na maaalala pa, sa ganoong paraan, hindi ko na mararamdaman pa muli ang sakit na pinadama niya sa'kin. The betrayal of trust. The worst sin of all is betrayal. Even the creator Himself experienced it, of course it will be the worst.

"Kamusta pakiramdam mo?" I can hear the worry in his voice as the space beside me deepen. Narinig ko rin ang paglagay niya ng tray sa side table ng kama, pero hindi ko siya pinansin at tinitigan lang ng matiim ang mga kamay kong naglalaro sa isa't isa. I don't know what to say and what to do.

Gusto ko siyang sapakin, bugbugin, iyakan, sigawan, at tawagin ng kung anu-anong mga bagay na makakasira sa buong pagkatao niya. But here I am, looking down at my fidgeting hands. My heart skipping a beat as he circled his arms around me and kisses my temples. I sneered at myself, inwardly. I promised myself to never love again and yet, once I forgot about what happened, my heart chose what it wants anyway.