Goodbye Lullaby (COMPLETED)

Chapter 32

Fools on parade frolic and fuck about to make her gaze
Turn to a scribble on a page by a picture that holds her absence
But you're daft to think she'd care
-
Secret Door by Arctic Monkeys

***

Sometimes, it feels like everything's unreal for me and that my brain perceives just what I only want to see. Sometimes, I think that there's some sort of a mist that covers my reality with my fantasies. What if everything's happening only inside my head, or all of it was just a mere imagination?

Kapag pumapasok sa isip ko na baka imahinasyon ko lang ang lahat, na baka may iba akong realidad at hindi pa ako namumulat dito, naiisip ko na sobrang sama ng tadhana sa akin.

But if all the shits I'd gone through in this fucking imagination to get to where I am right now was fake, then what really is the sense of life?

"Pangalawa 'yan!" Valen shoved the poor coconut to me and ran back to where the other fuckers are. Napailing na lang ako at binaba ang buko sa lamesa kasama ang mga barbeque.

Kung ano ano talaga ang naiisipan ng tatlong 'yon! We're currently in a resort in Southridge (the one where Eros and I stayed at last time). Pinag-uusapan lamang nila kanina kung gaano katayog yung puno ng niyog and then suddenly, a local offered to climb the fucking tree to get coconuts. Payag nang payag yung mga gago, ni hindi nga alam kung pano magbukas ng buko!

We've been here since yesterday morning. Christmas break na at binigyan din kami ng break from recording kaya naisipan naming magbakasyon. It's been ages since we last had a getaway like this. Ramdam ko nang tumatanda na talaga kami dahil bihira nang magkaoras para sa mga gantong bagay. Unlike before na bigla bigla na lang kaming umaalis kapag naisipan.

Now, it's like the old times. We booked a bigger villa that can accomodate all four of us. It's a bit far from the restaurants and other establishments but it's got a nicer view of the sea. Maraming tao dahil bakasyon kaya pinili rin namin ang villa na 'to para hindi masyadong mapansin.

"Do you even know how to open those?" I said with my hands on my waist when I saw them carrying two more coconuts back to our place. Iniwan nila ako sa pool area para paypayan ang barbeque sa grill!

Eros didn't say anything as he gets the other coconuts from the table. Si Justin ang may hawak nung dalawang bago habang nagcecellphone at si Valen naman ay nakangisi.

"Ever heard of the internet, D?" He said.

"Bakit 'di niyo pa pinaopen doon?"

"Ever heard of getting shy after receiving the most from a stranger?"

My lips parted. "Sa resort employee, I mean! Ever heard of common sense, Valentine?"

"But the resort's main building is too far from here!"

"Well then what's the use of the tele-fucking-phone?"

Magsasalita pa sana ito ngunit tinuhod ni Eros ang hita niya nang dumaan ito sa likod dala yung mga buko. "Sundin mo na lang."

Valen's jaw dropped in disbelief. Natawa na rin ako dahil napaabante siya sa ginawa ni Eros.

"Wow! I'm seriously getting harassed by this couple..." he had that sarcastic smile.

"Gago, tara na!" Aya ni Eros.

"Saan?" Tanong ni Justin nang ibaba ang cellphone.

"Sa main."

"Alright," kaladkarin naman si gago. Hindi nga alam kung anong gagawin do'n!

"Why are we still going there? Sabi ni Madame," Valen gave me the side eye. "tumawag na lang tayo."