Goodbye Lullaby (COMPLETED)

Chapter 47

Oh, until the vanishing point
And, baby, not a moment before
You're a thousand times mine
And I am a thousand yours
-
Vanishing Point by Alexandra Savior

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Warning: R-18

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The fact that the person came back and threatened me again didn't scare me this time. Realizing that it's me who she wants did. Suddenly, the feeling of being watched came back harder. The four corners of my house felt so small and I was getting anxious. I had my back against the wall.

I totally get it now.

Ako ang gusto niya. Noon, akala ko si Eros dahil ako ang pinagbabantaan niya. All this time, akala ko ginawa niya ang lahat ng 'yon para hindi ko balikan si Eros. But now that I've realized it, I was so fucking wrong. She threatened me so that I would never consider being in a relationship with anyone ever again.

This is fucking serious! This is really fucking happening to me! Pakiramdam ko hawak niya ang buong buhay ko. Pakiramdam ko nariyan lang siya sa paligid at nakamasid... sinusundan ang bawat kilos ko't pinagpapantasyahan sa dilim.

It's so unfair, maddening and alarming that I don't even know who she is and yet she knows me very well. One search on the internet, my whole life is presented right in front of her. It's so scary. Pakiramdam ko hawak niya ako sa leeg. And she's only doing this because she wants me!

I wasn't alone this whole time. She's silent but she's still watching my move. The dating rumors with Dominic just triggered her and I can't help but feel guilty for having my friend involved. Natatakot ako sa mga posibleng mangyari. Ang matantong ginagawa niya ito upang hindi ako makahanap ng iba, nakakasakal. The thought of finding love and her constantly ruining it for me for the rest of my life fucking scared me.

Hindi niya ba ako lulubuyan hangga't patuloy akong masaya sa taong minamahal ko? Buhay ko 'to... bakit kailangang kontrolin at takutin?

Hindi ako mapakali sa loob ng bahay. I locked all the doors and windows. I turned the lights off and kept staring at the main door as if the unknown texter would suddenly materialize right before my eyes.

I was anxious.

I couldn't get to talk to Eros because he's been on the plane back here since this morning. Mamayang alas dose ng hatinggabi pa ang lapag niya.

I was too terrified to go out and seek Mr. Estrella's help because what if the texter knows about that, too? What if she knows that I've hired an investigator?

Lahat na ng nasa isip ko, nabahiran ng takot.

But then...

Bakit ngayon pa ako matatakot? We've been waiting for a sign from her. Binigay niya na at ngayon pa ako maduduwag? Yes, I'm anxious, but I'm also angry as fuck. Pinaglalaruan ako ng taong 'to at hindi pwedeng habambuhay niyang gawin iyon.

Dionne:
Mr. Estrella, can we meet right now? I've got a text. Hindi pa ako nagrereply so maybe we can trace the number this time while I'm talking to the texter.

Gumayak na ako nang umoo siya. We agreed to meet at his house and before I went, I composed a text for Eros telling him where I'll be and what's happening. Mabilis lang akong nagmaneho pa-Downtown. Mr. Estrella's wife welcomed me in their home and lead me to her husband's office.

Nilapag ko ang cellphone sa table ni Mr. Estrella at agad niya namang kinalikot iyon. His laptop and other devices were already there.