Goodbye Lullaby (COMPLETED)

Chapter 25

I'm gеtting used to receiving
Still gеtting good at not leaving
Imma love you even though I'm scared
Learnin' to be grateful for myself
-
pov by Ariana Grande

***

Being in a relationship with Eros for months made me realize that he's a fucking faithful lover. Kahit noong hindi pa kami, napansin ko na iyon. Thinking about it now, he was also very patient and assuring. He didn't look at other girls like he knew he was damn sure of me.

Ako lang naman itong may problema.

I was always jealous. Before, it didn't bother me when girls try to get his attention. Kampante kasi akong hindi titingin si Eros. But it fucked me when Shierra came. Palagi kong naiisip na baka magbago bigla ang tingin ni Eros sa 'kin... noong hulog na hulog na ako. I admit I was damn scared. Mahal ko na, eh. Baka magbago ang isip niya at iwan ako bigla. But Eros proved his loyalty to me.

He was very understanding. Inaalagaan din ako kahit kaya ko namang gawin para sa sarili ko. And I think that's the sole reason why he goes home to me. He said he likes doing things for me and that he loves having me close to him. Palagi niyang kinakalma ang puso't isip ko.

Everything was okay. I was assured as hell he wouldn't look at others. But then, that damn bitch happened.

I trust Eros' words and actions. I saw how he get fucking frustrated every time that girl wouldn't leave him alone... to the point that he'd just surrender, get what she offers, and discard it after. That was what fucking alarmed me.

Eros doesn't surrender to someone that easily! It has to be the end of the world before he does that.

When they were still blockmates, everyday was a torture for me. The girl was obviously obsessed. She won't even acknowledge the fact that Eros has a girlfriend! Maraming tumatakbo sa isip ko. Sometimes, I even go to their building to see what happens inside their room. Napapanatag ako kapag nakikitang magkalayo sila ng upuan at nakikinig lamang ang boyfriend ko sa prof kahit nagpapapansin 'yung babae sa kanya.

Sometimes, it irks me. Sometimes, it makes me glad that Eros is fucking arrogant.

Now, having seen them together again made me mad to the core. He dropped the damn subject where that crazy girl was in already! That was the damn signal that he would never fuck around! Ano pa bang kailangan ng babaeng 'yon ngayon?!

I went home quickly and changed into gym clothes. Muntikan pa akong maabutan ni Eros sa bahay. My anger decreased knowing that he went after me, but still, my insides were boiling.

Trust.

Iyon lang ang nasa isip ko habang nilalabas lahat ng inis ko sa punching bag. Carlo, my trainer, was impressed. Sabi pa'y nag-iimprove na raw ako. Hindi ko alam kung insulto ba 'yon kasi galit lang ako ngayon o totoong may improvement. Nevertheless, I didn't care.

Eros has always been patient and understanding. I don't very much like that girl, but he dislikes her either.

I cooled down a bit after the session. I'm still mad, but I'll hear his explanation. Afterall, I've always thought about him giving more and receiving less in our relationship. I'm sure he has a reason.

But damn, the prideful Alistine Dionne still chose to delay hearing the reason. I know he's looking for me. Iniwan ko rin ang cellphone sa bahay at tanging wallet at damit na pamalit lang ang dala ko.

I stayed at a cafe just outside my village until almost midnight. I didn't bring a car because I knew damn well he'd easily spot me if I brought it. Sa pananatili ko sa cafe ay nakita ko ang pagdating, pag-alis at muling pagbalik ng mga sasakyan ni Eros, Justin at Valentine.