Goodbye Lullaby (COMPLETED)

Chapter 43

Isang buwan ulit kaming hindi nag-usap at nagkita pagkatapos no'n. It's December now. Inabala ko na lang ang sarili sa pagsusulat ng kanta. I've only written two songs. Hindi pa ako sigurado kung gusto ko bang ilabas 'yon, malalaman ko na lang kapag nabigyan na ako ng team at nakabuo na ng musika.

"Grabe ka naman pala mang-iwan," Tricia laughed as she showed me something in her phone. Nangunot ang noo ko. We're just hanging out in Uptown Square. Namiss niya raw ako kaya naisipang makipagkita.

"What is the context? I don't get it." Sabi ko.

Isang tweet na nagsasabing kasalanan ko raw kung bakit naiiyak yung user ang pinakita niya sa 'kin. May hashtag pang 'TheSoundOfYouLeaving'. Gulong gulo ako nang napabangon si Tricia sa pagkakasandal sa upuan. She put her milkshake on the table and stared at me incredulously.

"Oh my God! Huling huli ka na talaga sa balita!"

With my forehead still creasing, binasa ko ulit ang tweet. Maraming likes at retweets iyon pero hindi ko pa rin naintindihan ang context. As far as I know, wala naman akong inaway o tinapakang pagkatao. Bakit may umiiyak?

"I really don't know," I shrugged. "Baka hindi naman ako 'yan. There are so many girls named Dionne, too, you know."

Tricia sighed. "No, babe. Ikaw talaga ang tinutukoy."

"Why me?"

"The Sound of You Leaving is After Euphoria's new release! Gods. I can't believe you still don't follow them." Kinuha niyang muli ang milkshake at sumandal sa upuan.

My lips parted. "Isn't Cupid on 14th February their new single? The one they played at their concert?"

"Yeah, but that's just the first song. I heard it's a trilogy, all written by Eros." She giggled. "While everyone's going crazy about the songs, here you are, the inspiration of the songwriter, not knowing a single thing about it."

I pouted and glared at her. "Stop laughing!"

"But it's so funny!"

Winala ko na lang ang usapan. Malay ko ba sa mga nilalabas na kanta nung tatlo. I still don't follow their band activities because I still haven't totally moved on. I'm proud of them, but I can't just hide the fact that I feel bitter about not being part of their band anymore. Ayokong maramdaman iyon dahil mahal ko sila kaya iniiwasan kong makarinig ng kung ano tungkol sa banda upang hindi rin makaramdam ng gano'n.

Habang naggagala tuloy kami ni Tricia, ramdam na ramdam ko ang tingin ng mga tao. It made me curious, so I made it a point to listen to the song when I get home.

I cleared my throat and released a deep breath. Nasa kama na ako kasama ang laptop. Nakahanda na rin ang kanta, pipindutin na lang at tutugtog na. It's four minutes long and the cover photo is kinda similar to Cupid on 14th February's. It's an artwork of an angel. Kalahati lang ng mukha ang kita, may puting pakpak at halo. If this is really about me, then... I don't know...

I sighed again and just played the song. Fuck it.

The intro was played with just the electric guitar. Four strums, then came Eros' voice. Napalapit si Shadow sa laptop nang marinig ang boses niya.

"I heard the news that you're moving... same platform and the lights are blinding..."

I bit my lower lip.

"Some place that we have in common... have I been in the wrong room after all?"

Pumasok ang drums at ang rhythm guitar para sa chorus. Valen's bass can also be heard, but only if you listen closely. It was aligned with the rhythm guitar so hearing it could be tricky. The chorus was long, but the only lyrics that sunk in to me were, "I was a young man, bordering maturity, wearing off naivety... playing house, you were mine and I was yours... but jokes on me, I was sure... at 22, I swore I'd tie the knot with you..."