Goodbye Lullaby (COMPLETED)

Prologue

What the fuck.

Napaatras ang ulo ko, but he was chasing my lips. Tila ayaw bumitiw at gusto pang magpatuloy. I had to reach for his cheeks to move him away. At nang magawa ay iritado siyang napatitig sa akin.

We're both drunk. Lasang lasa ko pa ang alak mula sa labi niya, but we shouldn't be in this position.

Mabilis kong binutones ang gusot kong uniform habang nakikipagtitigan sa kanya. Hindi ako makaalis sa kandungan niya dahil ayaw niya pa ring bumitiw. It must be the alcohol.

Nang siguro'y marealize ang nangyari, lumuwag ang hawak niya sa aking bewang. His head fell back to the couch, shutting his eyes tightly. I chuckled. Patuloy pa rin sa pagbubutones ng uniporme habang umaalis sa posisyon.

It hasn't fully sunk in. All I know is nagcutting siya at inaya akong tumambay sa bahay ko. We drank. Until I realized I was straddling him and we were making out already.

Napailing ako. I just made out with my bandmate.

What the fuck.

What if he tells Valen and Justin?

No, he won't. He won't talk about something that those two idiots would piss him off with.

I bit my swollen lower lip. At bakit naman ako matatakot? As if we had sex? Hanggang second base lang naman.

I rolled my eyes. Bwisit. Sinadya kong paitan ang kapeng tinitimpla ko. Kung bakit ba kasi biglang nanghahalik! I agreed to cut class and drink in the middle of the day just because he's bored, but that doesn't include kissing and touching and whatsoever.

Pagbalik ko sa living room ay ganon pa rin ang posisyon niya. Magulo ang buhok, kalas pa rin ang butones ng uniporme at mukhang tulog. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at inilapag ang kape sa center table. Tinapik ko nang dalawang beses ang pisngi niya para sana gisingin siya at makapag-ayos ng sarili. It only deepened the lines in his forehead though.

"Eros," I gently called, tinatapik pa rin ang pisngi niya.

He just moaned in response. Napairap ako nang maramdamang hindi siya titinag kaya naman ako na ang nagtrabaho ng butones niya at ng buhok niya.

"Drink this coffee first. Parating na sila Valen."

"Just put it there. Iiglip lang ako," bulong niya at hinuli ang kamay kong ngayon ay nasa ikalawang butones na ng polo niya. Inilayo niya pa iyon habang nananatiling nakapikit.

"Bahala ka," isa pang irap ang ginawa ko bago ko siya tinalikuran.

Umakyat ako sa 'king kwarto para magpalit na ng damit. As I was changing, napabuntong hininga na lang ako.

I'm in a band. My bandmates are all guys. Valen is our bassist, Justin is the guitarist and Eros is the drummer. While I am responsible for the vocals, it's also my responsibility to attend to my drunk bandmates.

It's always been like that. Although I like drinking and getting wasted, when I wanna stop, I will. They know na ayokong pinipilit pa ako. Tumutugtog na kami simula grade 7 pa lang at ngayong patapos na kami ng senior high, patuloy pa rin ang banda.

Hell, I won't let us disband! I won't even leave if we're given a choice. I grew up with them. Natuto akong magwalwal at... well, maglaro ng mga lalakeng habol lang ay sex.

What can I say? I'm probably the hottest catch in school and I'm surrounded by the biggest assholes in town. Maraming naghahabol sa akin ngunit hindi sila matuto-tuto na hindi ako uto-uto.

My boys taught me well.

Going back to our band, drinking serves as our 'tea time' since most of our gigs take place at bars and parties. Mapa-open event pa 'yan o intimate, there's alcohol kaya maaga kaming napasabak sa inuman.