Colin Firth - will he save me?

Italy

The next day I wake up happy and satisfied, although my body could have endured an hour or two of sleep. The memories of last night are slowly coming back, Colin's lips on mine, his hands on my body, my well-being as I lay in his arms. Smiling, I open my eyes and stretch out my arm to Colin. Or at least I'm trying to because he's not there. Oh no, it wasn't all just a dream, was it? I sit up with a jerk and then I finally see him. He's already dressed and is sitting on a chair and looking at me with sad eyes. Damn it, he won't regret what happened between us, will he? That look can't mean anything good. "Good morning, I hope I didn't wake you up?" he asks me with a pained expression on his face. "No, but why are you already up? And why are you already dressed? And why the hell do you give the impression that you have the most terrible night of your life behind you, where I have just had a night of really fantastic sex ?"At least he's giving me a little smile now. "Listen, the night with you was really unbelievable, but unfortunately I'm really late and have to leave soon." "Is that your way of telling me that I was just a one night stand for you?" "No, no. That's not it. It's - I don't know how to tell you - listen, it's just complicated, okay?" "How about if you just tell me what's going on and why you have to go early in the morning?" "I'm going to Italy, to Livia." "What ??? Ok .. Wow, I thought you guys were separated." "We are, it's just complicated. We are close friends even after our separation and well - actually I never thought that there would ever be another woman in my life and yesterday you suddenly stood in front of me and pulled me completely under your spell. I'm definitely not the type for one night, but I just couldn't resist you. And this morning I wake up and it just doesn't feel right, you see? " "No, not really, but guess what, I don't want to be drawn into a love triangle. I'm not the type for one night either, so it would probably be better if you just go and fly to your wife. So far we've managed to never run into each other, so that won't be a problem in the future either. " "She is my ex-wife." "Yes, whatever. Have a good flight and please close the door when you go."In order not to burst into tears in front of him, I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. At that moment I didn't care that he saw me completely naked, well, my body shouldn't have been a big surprise for him anyway. God how could I be so wrong? I should have known that I couldn't let it get that far on the first evening. It all felt so perfect, can it really be that he was just using me as a distraction and that he really wants to go back to his wife? I notice how a deep sadness overwhelms me, this man has really grown dear to my heart in this short time. I really thought there could be more of us. When I finally get into the hot shower, I let my tears run wild, crying for a relationship that will never exist, for a man I can't have. Something was torn inside me, through something that hasn't even really started.When I get back to the bedroom, he's gone. Of course, what should he have been waiting for? He probably couldn't wait to get out of my house as soon as possible and save himself the embarrassment of an emotional conversation. My eyes fall on the rumpled sheets, I can still see our bodies in them. Damn it, why did sex with him have to be so amazingly good too? I cry again, but this time not out of sadness but out of anger. I pull the sheets off the bed. I don't want to sleep in it any more night, possibly smell his smell. Suddenly I see a small note on my bedside table. "Call me if you want to talk about it - Colin." Below is his number. Certainly not - I take the piece of paper and tear it into dozens of small pieces. With that the last bridge to Colin is broken.