Colin Firth - will he save me?

living the perfect life

Can it really be that simple? Can it really be that someone walks into your life, takes your heart by storm, and everything feels perfect? I don't really know if I can really understand what's going on right now, Colin, the children and I live together like a family. A family that isn't really a family - we all barely know each other and yet it feels like there has never been anything else. I'm crazy about Colin, I would love to tell him what's going on inside me emotionally, but I can't quite make out of him. I often notice how he is watching me as if his thoughts were absent and yet at the same time completely with me. At night when we sleep, he holds me tightly as if he were afraid I might just disappear. The sex between us is characterized by passion, sometimes hard and demanding and then again tender and loving. Yet in all these weeks he has never told me how he feels. I'm afraid to speak to him about it, the worry that he still loves Livia in spite of everything is too present.

Colin's other two sons Will and Luca now also know about us. Luca has been here a few times to eat, but spends most of the time with his friends. Will lives in Canada, his relationship with Colin seems to be very relaxed. Colin is a fantastic father, but he's a bit worried about Matteo. He is the most sensitive of all and you can hardly tell what he thinks of the whole situation. One day I'll be home alone with him. Colin and Matilda are shopping today and Matteo and I are enjoying the beautiful rays of the sun on the terrace. "Can I tell you something without Dad knowing about it?" "Yes, of course. Is something bothering you?" "Not really depressing, I just don't know how to tell Dad because I know he'd be worried about me right away and I don't know if he'd even be okay with it. Besides, I'm scared of disappointing him because I maybe not good enough at all. " "okayyyy, that sounds exciting." "I would like to be an actor. You know, I don't like to talk, but when I'm on stage and I'm a different person, it's a lot easier for me. Anyway, I've auditioned for a play at school and I can hardly believe it myself, but I got the lead! " "Matteo - that's fantastic! I'm sure your dad will be happy and support you wherever he can. Just like us. That's really great, I'm really happy for you. Why didn't you tell us anything ? " "Because I would have been embarrassed if I hadn't got the role - I mean, you both have, I don't know how many Oscars and BAFTAs and other awards and then I'll come and play Oliver Twist." "Your dad and I started our careers in school theater too, so we know exactly what it feels like and you can see where it can lead you. But now tell me, when do the rehearsals start? Do you already have your lines? When is the premiere? We can come over there? Oh Matteo, your dad is going to be bursting with pride! "

"Why should I burst? What are some of the secret things you have to discuss here?" "Um, I think we'll leave you alone for a moment." I say and hang up with Matilda and go into the house with her. We watch the two men curiously through the window. How amazingly similar they are, you can't tell any emotion from their faces, so Matilda and I have no idea how the conversation will develop. They finally wave to us and Matteo's grin shows that the conversation went very well. As we sit on the couch in the evening, Colin tells me that he is incredibly proud of his son and that he never thought that he would one day pursue the same career path as him.

The next few weeks fly by, and the evening of the school performance is just around the corner. Matteo wants us to show up there together in any case. Colin and I assume that there will be hardly any paparazzi waiting for us there. So far we have managed to keep our "relationship" a secret. I have to say that I'm still very nervous. It's the first time I show up anywhere with another man, and it's the same with Colin. As we get dressed for the premier, Colin notices that my hands are shaking and that I have trouble putting my necklace on. "What's wrong with you?" "Colin, how are we going to perform there? As a couple? As friends?" "Is it so important to you that there is a definition for what is between us?" "No, it's not. But is it okay if I hold your hand? If I kiss you?" "Of course it is. All dads will envy me today for this sexy woman with whom I appear today. I have to be careful that someone doesn't steal you." 

As it turns out, I was worrying for nothing. The other parents seem a bit surprised that they see us together, but after everyone knew about Colin and Livia's separation, it was logical for them that he would date another woman at some point. It seems normal that she is also an actress. To my relief Colin is not at all reserved with me, on the contrary, he holds me in his arms, kisses me again and again and introduces me to the parents he knows personally. The performance is a complete success. Matteo is a real natural talent, at first he was a bit nervous, but the longer the piece lasted, the more he lost his shyness. After the premiere we go out to eat together and finally all return exhausted but overjoyed to our house.

As we close the bedroom door behind us, I feel overwhelmed, "Colin - I fell in love with you. I know you have trouble talking about your feelings, but I want you to know. I don't want to imagine a life without you anymore. You mean everything to me, I love you more than I can tell you. " Colin smiles at me, walks up to me and kisses me tenderly. When we make love tonight, it's a little different than usual. Very quiet, we don't talk, we hardly moan, but both are very excited. We kiss again and again, smile at each other, gently caress each other's body. Colin fills me completely, our bodies fit together perfectly. This time Colin doesn't withdraw from me after his orgasm, still united, we finally fall asleep.