Colin Firth - will he save me?

the commercial

I think my heart will jump out of my body soon, I have the feeling everyone in the crew can hear it beating. I've never been so nervous about a shoot. I take the first flight of stairs way too fast, I walk more slowly, I try to remind myself, it's just a job. Colin is already close behind me. On the last step, he takes my hand. Everything goes as intended in the script. And that's when I look him in the eye for the first time. Somehow I managed to avoid him on set. But now it's inevitable, he's getting closer and closer. The stupid thing is I know exactly what's going to happen. His right hand gently strokes my cheek, his lips come closer and closer to mine, he looks into my eyes the whole time. God, this man has fascinating eyes. I hold my breath, if I don't keep breathing I'm sure to pass out. His lips stroke mine very gently, brush my cheek and wander to my neck. He kisses me very tenderly on the neck and bites me gently, sliding his tongue over my neck. I pray nobody sees that. I can feel that Colin is breathing heavily, is that really all played or is he aroused? I don't dare to open my eyes because I'm afraid of disappointment when I see that he's just acting. Suddenly the director calls out "Cut". Colin leans against me for a moment and whispers in my ear that he missed that. What is he imagining? I would love to slap him on the face. I'm not his sex toy !!

When the director says we're taking an hour off, I storm into my dressing room and want to slam the door behind me. But Colin followed me, doesn't he seriously believe that I wanted that? Colin closes the door and asks me "why didn't you call me?" You don't seriously believe that I'm chasing you when you actually want to go back to your ex? "I'm angry and mad at him. Colin comes up to me and tries to kiss me, I pull out and slap him on his face. He looks at me amazed but that doesn't stop him from wanting to kiss me again. Well, if he doesn't understand he'll get another slap. But Colin holds my hand out when I try with the other hand slamming he stops this too.

He grins at me with his typical grin "could you please calm down now and act like a civilized adult so that I can finally kiss you?" Oh god, he's so Mark Darcy right now that I can't help but laugh. He sees this as an invitation and kisses me passionately. The excitement that had previously pent up in me now completely overwhelms me. I drop to my knees and open his pants so quickly that he only groans briefly. When I enclose his manhood with my mouth, he moans with pleasure and covers my head with both hands. I enjoy the power I have over him, feel how he trembles with excitement. But I don't want to give him redemption, not now. He is supposed to suffer as I have suffered, his breathing is only intermittent, I know that he is just about to climax. So I suddenly stop pampering him and put his pants back on. He looks at me with a pained look, but smiles "my little beast, you are doing that on purpose, right?"When we get back on set, the mood between us is very different. Something has changed, Colin is incredibly caring and affectionate and I can't help but reciprocate his affection. The headlines that were in the newspapers at the time come back to me. His wife would have cheated on him for a long time and they would have tried again after her confession. What must he have been through? He, who can probably have any woman he wants, has always been faithful (at least I've never heard rumors that he had an affair), is just trying to save his relationship with a woman he must have loved above all else only to find out that there was nothing left to save?Maybe he was just looking for an outlet to live out his pent-up emotions, I can understand that up to a certain point. I can also understand that he wants his wife back, I would have given anything for a while to have Paul back. At the end of the day of shooting, I summon up all my courage "Colin, we need to talk." I know that it can't go on, I realize that I'm about to fall in love with this wonderful man. And I know I can't because I know Colin Firth will break my heart.