Colin Firth - will he save me?

KEEP CALM and LOVE COLIN FIRTH

When I open my eyes the next morning, Colin is already awake, he is lying at my side, his head resting on his right arm and looking at me. "Why are you staring at me when I sleep? You know very well that I can't sleep then!" "I just wanted to make sure you were still there when I woke up. What turned out to be pretty pointless, you snored like a company of old men" he replies with a grin. "I didn't!" I playfully bump his shoulder. "Oh yes, and how, I was afraid the neighbors would send the police over to us because of noise pollution." "Colin !!!" I box him again, which is absolutely pointless as he is much stronger than me. Colin rolls over on me with one swing, pushing me down with all his weight. His hips clear the way between my legs. "Do you still love me?" he asks me boldly. "I don't know, find out ..." I smile at him lustfully. Colin doesn't allow himself to be asked, he kisses me and after a short foreplay we have sex like two teenagers, which means that the act doesn't last very long, because Colin orgasms after a few minutes.

He makes no move to withdraw from me, lies on top of me and lays his head on my shoulder. I gently stroke his curls "how should we go on now?" I ask him. "I don't know. Can you find a way to trust me and accept that Livia will always be a part of my life?" "Colin, honestly - I don't know. You know, after Paul's death, I'm sure I'm more afraid of loss than most other people. I'm just afraid that I'll lose you. This pain I felt then, I believe that nobody can understand how it felt to me back then. I was suddenly all alone with a child, I didn't know what to do, let alone how I should get through the next day at all. " "That's exactly how I felt when you had the complications after David's birth. I too thought I had lost you. I was so scared. And then you woke up and didn't know who I was anymore. It was cruel." I hold him tight to me. "I know, I keep forgetting what you went through back then. The separation from Livia was certainly the horror for you. But I still can't understand why you still have to have such close contact. Don't you understand how difficult it is for the new partner if you keep getting into trouble with your ex? "

I try to imagine what it is like to live by Colin's side, to go through life with him. Can I even begin to imagine that he will meet her again and again? Can I really get rid of my jealousy? I don't know. I just know that if I can't make it, we have to end this once and for all. I tell him that too. He looks at me sadly, but nods. "Listen, in that case I can't do more than promise that I won't sleep with her anymore. But she is and will remain a part of me. I don't know how often I should tell you that I do only love you and you know that I want to be with you, but if you ask me to forget Livia or completely shut out mine, then I can't. " 

We are now lying next to each other, looking each other in the eye. I don't know what to think, I just can't understand his feelings for her. But the question is also whether I have to, can I trust him? I don't know if I'm strong enough for it. A single tear runs down my cheek, Colin gently wipes it away. I start kissing him it's so innocent between us. Our tongues gently circle, Colin's hand wanders up and down my back, I let mine slide up and down between his chest and stomach. We don't interrupt our kiss, at some point I'll guide his cock to my center of lust, he gently slides into me, I enclose his hips with my leg. Our tongues still do a tender dance with one another. I notice that he doesn't care if he comes, the orgasm is not important to me either, I just want Colin close to me. Feel him in me. It's like we both don't know if it's our last time together.

When we finally break apart, we both smile. Shy, insecure, we both don't know how to go on with us. When we finally get out of bed and sit at the breakfast table after a short shower, Colin tells me that he will talk to Livia and tell her that we have become closer again. I ask him to sleep with me the nights Livia is in London. The thought that the two of them live under one roof is too painful for me. 

When Colin finally leaves the house, I decide to get some fresh air and go shopping. Matilda and David accompany me but we don't get far. David doesn't want to be outside today, the typically British weather shouldn't appeal to him so much and so Matilda brings him home. As we say goodbye, she wishes me a lot of fun and success. I haven't been shopping for a long time, and in L.A. this was hardly possible because the paparazzi were always after me. It's much more pleasant in London. Hardly anyone here seems to be interested in me.

Lost in thought, I am looking into the shop window when I suddenly hear a splashing noise on my shoulder. Great, a pigeon did its business on me. I try as best I can to clean my jacket, which is almost impossible, the smell of these critters is really bestial. I have no choice but to look for a replacement as quickly as possible, I only wear a T-shirt under my jacket, which is clearly not enough. So I rush into the next best shop, a souvenir shop. I think perfect and take the opportunity to cover myself with a couple of Union Jack cups, and I also discover a cushion with a likeness of Prince Harry - perfect for Matilda, who has always raved about him. When I finally get to the clothing I laugh out loud. There is actually a hooded sweater with Colin's face on it: "Keep calm and love Colin Firth" is printed on it. I can't help it, I have to have it. Colin will love it. Especially when I don't wear anything underneath. I ask the saleswoman to take off the label, she smiles knowingly at me, apparently she recognized me, but says nothing. I pack my smelly jacket in an extra bag. My way home takes me directly along the Thames. There are only a few tourists on the way, not surprising given the weather. 

Suddenly I hear loud screeching behind me, I look around without slowing my pace and see a group of girls giggling, holding their hands over their mouths and pointing in my direction. Just as I want to turn my gaze forward again, I hit something hard. Something big, manly. For a moment I feared I broke my nose, God what kind of pecs does this guy have? Someone asks me "Oh damn, I didn't see you, I'm sorry the girls distracted me, did you hurt yourself?" "No, no, everything's okay. Are you training for the Ironman or something?" "Haha, no but something like that, cool sweater by the way." I didn't look at him before but now I do, he's tall, a bit like Colin, maybe even taller, and he has a stunning smile and fascinating eyes. Are they blue or green?

 Wait a moment. Oh shit. 

This is Tom Hiddleston.