Colin Firth - will he save me?

Matteo

Matteo silently follows me into our kitchen, our living area is very open, I can see that he is looking at everything very carefully. Without being asked, he takes a seat at the kitchen table. This boy has Colin's features, all of his body language reflects his father. I'm pretty sure he's a big heartbreaker by now, if he doesn't even overtake his father. I ask him if he would like to have tea or a coffee. He decides to have tea, answers me only in monosyllables. I've never asked Colin whether they speak more Italian or English at home, so I'm not sure how well Matteo actually understands me. He examines me carefully, either he is a very silent boy or he thinks about how he can kill me fast. 

"Do you have something to eat?" I am surprised by this question and tell him that his dad is about to get breakfast, but I could make him porridge for the time being if he wants to. He says he's waiting to see what his dad takes with him, they usually have the same taste. He gives me a small smile, at least I think that's a smile."

The house looks very nice - but isn't it a little big for you and your daughter?" "Yes, it really is. But you know, when we were here for the first time, we fell in love with it straight away. The rooms are spacious and bright, the garden is fantastically beautiful. We feel very comfortable here and Matilda doesn't have too far to school. " "Was it difficult for her to start in a new country? I mean so far away from her friends?" I'm not sure how much he knows about our lives, whether he is aware that Matilda lost her father way too soon and that this should be a new start for both of us. I decide to be honest with him "you know, it was hard in the beginning, but I can see that this change is good for her. In LA everything reminded her of her dad and here she can start all over again, I am myself sure she got used to it much faster than me. " "Well, you have my dad. So you found someone pretty quickly, I would say." 

"Matteo !!" neither of us noticed that Colin was back.Matteo jumps up from his chair and hugs his father. I wouldn't have given him that much emotion. They hug each other deeply, my heart becomes very warm. This is a picture of my daughter and Paul that I will never see again. "What are you doing here, kid? Have you behaved properly too?" "Oh yes, he did - he's quite a gentleman like his father." I smile at Matteo and he winks at me. His dad doesn't have to know that our meeting was a bit bumpy. "Seriously now, Matteo, what are you doing here? You should be with your mum?" "You know Dad - I just can't stand it there. I don't want to be in Italy, I want to be in London, with my friends, with you." Matteo tells us about his days in Italy that he often didn't know what to do all day, Livia would work a lot and Luca would have had things on his mind and spent little time with his little brother. "You know - I was wondering if I could stay here with you guys? I don't want to go back." "Matteo, bring your things to our guest room, if you like you can also take a shower and then we'll have breakfast and talk about everything in peace."

When Matteo disappears briefly under the shower, I ask Colin "Did you tell him about us? What does he know exactly? How did he know that you were with me?" Colin gives me a slightly embarrassed look "Listen, Matteo and I are very similar, he really knows almost everything about me and I told him about you on my last visit to Italy. He noticed that something was bothering me. He knows no details, of course, but he tormented me for so long that at some point I told him that we met at the BAFTAs and we got closer. And well, yesterday evening he wrote me if I'm home and what I'm doing I replied that I had spent the last few days with you. I didn't think about it anymore. I'm sorry he just turned up like that. " I didn't understand half of what he was telling me so I just say, "It's okay, he seems adorable, but what the hell do you mean that something bothered you?" "That he has a crush on you of course!" replies Matteo and grabs a croissant from the table.

I quickly realize that the two really don't seem to have any secrets from each other. Colin is very open about the problems we had with each other - luckily he doesn't go into detail about our sex life. "So what's going on between you guys, are you two together?" I can tell Colin doesn't know what to say, so I'll take the answer, "You know, it's not all that easy, your dad and I have both had very painful losses and we still need time for our souls to heal." "Hm, adulthood sucks, doesn't it? I think you two go well together and you look happy together. So don't force yourselves, you can make out in front of me. Just don't use your tongue, please." This boy's openness is wonderful. I can't help it, I just have to hug him and I have to say I'm overjoyed when he returns my hug. "So what do you think, can I stay here with you guys? And if so, when is Matilda coming? I always wanted to have a little sister." Colin and I look at each other and we both realize we can't say no. "Matilda is coming next week and I'll just tell you one thing, secure a place in the house now, she is a very stubborn negotiator and has already chosen the best room in the house, so that could be a little difficult." "No matter - the main thing is that I can stay here and Dad too - I wish that he is finally happy again!" "I am Matteo, I am, you have no idea how happy I am right now" Colin tells him while looking at me with his wonderful brown eyes. With all the father-son love, of course I start to cry again. The guys don't take me too seriously and laugh at me. "You are terrible." I reproach them, but then I have to laugh heartily myself.