Dear Hillary

Back to School

February 23, 2015

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Dear Hillary,

Honestly, for some reason, I'm not in the mood for typing much xD but I'll do what I can

So I didn't fall asleep until 2 last night, and i wake up at 5. Yeah. That was fun. I think I just stressed myself out with the fact that there was school again and gah. 

Speaking of, I had a math packet that was due the day after the weekend of my competition? Guess what I got on it. Guess. My friend, Madi, who got braces today poor thing, helped me with most of the questions, and another math teacher helped her with most of them first, so I thought I was good. When else did I have to do it except on the bus to the competition? 

I got a 66 on it. That's the worst grade I've ever gotten on something in math. This year in math has been so hard that I want to give up. I convince myself not to care, but then every single freaking thought comes back up and this is the list that makes me cry in the middle of math class and as i'm typing this right now

-my brother and sister just graduated high school and are already excepted into their colleges of choice 

-they got insanely good scores on the major tests and if i don't do such things as these, my entire family will look at me as a failure

-if i don't do good in school, i can't go to college

-if i dont pass the required state tests, i have to retake classes

-if i can't get into college what am i good for 

Wow. Now I really don't want to do anything. Why do I do this to myself xD I must look like such an emotional wreck to you. I am, but at least I can be honest with you, Hillary.

Then in English I had to present a character analysis, and by the end of me speaking my tongue wasn't working and i felt a little faint

then i came home and was so cold i felt like barfing

and tbh i'm going to go cry myself to sleep when i was supposed to write two imagines

wow 

such life

much living

GET IT TOGETHER GOSH DNAGIT

Alright. I'm okay. Sorry about that. Sometimes everything goes abit haywire. At the worst of times, especially when I'm home alone, I'll talk to myself and laugh at my own jokes xD xD

Overall, today was alright. I just didn't get as much done as I wanted to. I procrastinate when all I really want to do is knock out my requests. I'm only 41/70 right now xD That's so many, wow! I'm honored but it is and can be overwhelming. Especially when people ask 'when is it coming?' when will it be ready?' No clue, sorry xD

Anyway, sorry for making you listen to me screaming about my 'terrible life.' Sometimes I'm a total wimp xD 

Alix has the insane goal of being top of the class. She was stressed about not getting a 100 because she got a 99. I wanted to cry about it until she explained it. She wants to try to be the best at something, and something as small as a 99.25 from a 99.50 could make the difference between 1st and 2nd. I admire so much. I love her so freaking much. She'll probably never read this, but I did make this account in the first place for her. She wanted me to hold onto it and post things for her. The email literally is forbeyonce and the date that TFIOS came out in theaters because we loved it. xD xD Because she's amazing. I regret making her Alix from New Neighbor everyday. 

Oh gosh I'm rambling. Anything to get my mind off of life xD 

Alrighty! goodnight and I hope you have a better day than mine :)

Mel xx