Dear Hillary

Wow

September 25, 2014

.

Today was a little weird. I'm still a little rough on the whole breathing problem thing, but it's getting much better. Everyone was in a crap mood today, but I was actually alright. 

School has, for once in my life, taken up too much of my time. Yes, I have time to write -- occasionally -- but other than that, my thoughts have not been much on myself at all this week. Except for the fac that I have to focus on breathing xD

But really, other than when I slip a big sweatshirt on and look in the mirror and say, 'you still look fat,' there's not been much self-hatred lately. Am I happy about that? That's a hard question. 

I found a poem from a while ago that captures what I'm trying to say right now;

They tell me to be strong

They tell me to fight it

They tell me it's wrong

But what if I like it?

It's a little upsetting, or a lot, that I find it a little enjoyable. I think there's something wrong me with me. Or maybe it's just that I think that others need to come before you, so things like happiness are second-thought-matters when it comes to myself.

oh no i've done it again, i'll stop now

ANYWAY

so i feel bad about my sucky imagines lately, so i'm posting one that i've never really shared with anyone because it was one that i wrote i think before i became 'depressed' (oh gosh) and it's really special

but i'm using it for the very first imagine of my next imagines book

because there's never just one part with me is there

OKAY I LOVE YOU BYE LILLY HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY I NEED TO SLEEP DLSHGNDS,NJK

Melody