til forever falls apart (BWWM)

|08|

James "Bucky" Barnes. His name is James "Bucky" Barnes.

The man from my dream shared the same name as The Winter Soldier, and I knew something was off about it. The way James looked at me, I knew he knew something.

Every time I look into his cold, blue eyes, I can feel all the suffering deep in him. I could feel it crawling at him, and how it affected him deeply. I've heard the stories and seen his work, but to feel it the way he did, it was something else. Reading his mind felt like looking in a mirror. And, if I wanted to know about the dream I just had, I needed to get inside his mind.

We had spent another night in the compound alone. The rest of Fury's slaves finished off finding the hostages. They were supposed to come back yesterday, but something else came up. I glanced at the clock above the door. It was 2:39 a.m., and I couldn't think. Half of me was thinking about the metal arm freak that was sleeping in my chair. The other half was thinking about Carter. Nights when I couldn't sleep, I would slip into her room and watch over her. I found peace in knowing she was safe in her bed at night, and now, I can't do that.

I pray her father can protect her until I'm done here.

James shifted in his sleep. I watched him as he tossed in the chair, mumbling words. I stood from my bed carefully, making sure I didn't make any noise. This could be the perfect time to get information from him. I crept up to the chair, reaching my hand to his head. Before I could touch him, his hand snapped up to my wrist. His eyes shot open, and he looked at me. Sweat beads dripped from his forehead as his loose hair laid against his skin.

I tried to pry my wrist from his hand, but he held on tighter, looking at me. I tried to head his mind, but it was cloudy. I pulled from him and tumbled to the bed. "I wasn't going to hurt you."

"How do I know that?" His voice was scratchy, yet quiet. "I made you a promise," I sat up against the bed frame. "As much as I hate you guys, I won't hurt you. To some extent, you help people. I don't kill people who do good."

"Maybe, you tell yourself that because you don't want to face the consequences." He mumbled as he looked at me. I huffed. "I've faced consequences, James, so I don't have to lie to myself about what I do. I'm not saying that it's the best way to do it, but in the end, Hydra and its agents have to die. In some form or another, I have to be the one to do it."

After a while, James smiled. I squinted at him. "What?" I asked, but he shook his head. "Nothing, just a thought I had." I nodded and looked at him closely.

His mind was less clouded, yet it was hard to hear what he was thinking. Only hearing snippets, I tried to piece together was he was thinking.

My name...I remember... does she?

Do I remember what? His name? I sighed and let it go. I was too weak to do anything after using my powers to stop that blast. I couldn't even heal myself properly. "You should get some rest, yeah?" James asked. I nodded and laid back down, looking at him. He had a visible shake to him, but he managed to hide it.

"How many times a week?" I asked. James gazed at me for a second before looking back out the window. "The nightmare?" I continued to ask.

"Mind your damn business." He mumbled before standing. He walked out of the room, locking the door behind him. I sighed and shut my eyes, trying to get some sleep.
__________

Bucky sat the plate down in front of me. Burnt eyes and pancakes. He placed two strips of bacon on the plate and poured orange juice.

We haven't said anything to each other for the last two days, and then he forces me out of my room for breakfast. I picked at the eggs and squinted at them.