til forever falls apart (BWWM)

|31|

|Bucky|

It's been weeks. Months maybe. I've lost count. Nothing. Nothing from Y/N. What was I expecting? The truth maybe. Some sort of sign that she was alive and proving her innocence.

I keep replaying that night over in my head. How I drew that gun without even hearing her side of the story. It didn't matter if I didn't have bullets in it. It's the simple fact that I threatened her life without a second thought.

God, I must be the biggest idiot on the Earth right now. If not, the entire universe. I spent all that time trying to confess my feelings to her, just to waste it when I got orders to question her.

But, she ran. That means she's guilty.

Hell, if a freak like me pointed a gun in my face, I would have run too. I'm so fucking stupid.

She didn't even take anything with her. I was being haunted by endless memories of her. Her clothes draped around my room. Her hair products littered all over my bathroom. Her smell still tangled in my sheets, though I washed them 1,000 times. I couldn't even sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, it felt like I was reliving the best moments of our little time together.

It wasn't real. She was pretending.

I didn't care if it wasn't real. It was real to me. Every stolen glance, every time we held hands, every single kiss was real to me. And I hated that I lost it all again.

"Bucky," The door opened to Wanda and Nat. I put down my book. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Pepper made dinner." Wanda said, "I think you should come to eat with us."

I shook my head. I just wanted to stay here. "No thanks," I mumbled and picked up the book. It was snatched out of my hands before I could read a word. "Pepper made dinner, and you're going to get up and get dressed," Nat groaned. "We had to, and so will you."

She sighed and walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes. Then, I stood from the bed, placing on a shirt from a pile of clean laundry and a pair of Steve's sweatpants.

I opened the door and was met with the smell of pasta. I walked into the dinner where everyone was including Thor. I didn't even hear him arrive.

I took a seat beside Steve. Every single chair was file except for the only where Y/N used to sit. God, they even moved the plates. Trying to ignore it, I fished myself a plate and began eating.

"Why is it so quiet?" Thor asked with his booming voice. "I'm back. We should be celebrating!" He laughed. Tony cleared his throat, causing Steve to glance up at him. "I don't think there's nothing to celebrate. For once, I feel like celebrating is the complete opposite of what we should be doing. Right, Steve?" Tony asked.

Pepper warned, "Tony."

"No, Pepper," Steve squinted, "Tony has something to say." I sighed trying to eat. I couldn't deal with this right now. "Oh, no, Steve. You have all the answers. You need to be right every single time."

"I'm sorry," Thor watched on, "Am I missing something?"

Wanda looked at me before shaking her hand, "No. Just a little light banter between the two of them. Nothing to worry about." It was quiet for a moment. No one dared say anything. Good. I liked the quiet now.

"Wait. Where's the new girl? Ah, yes! Y/N. Where is she?" Thor's voice rang in my ears.

I sat my fork down a little too harshly. I stood and picked up my plate, "It was good, Pepper." I mumbled before walking into the kitchen and putting up the food.

My breath shortened, and for a moment, I could hear her calling out to me, but her voice faded into something more manly. It was Sam.

I washed my hands and grabbed a towel to dry them. "Want to help me clean up?" I hesitated before I nodded. He gave me a clean rag and turn on the water. "So, how was your weekend?"