til forever falls apart (BWWM)

|17|

It was almost 3 am. The party stopped around 11, thanks to Steve. He wanted everyone to be well-rested for training. Yet, here I am still awake.

I sighed as I flipped for the millionth time tonight. I went to stand up, thinking the water would help. I stopped when I felt a hand slip around my waist. Bucky was fast asleep when I looked down, snoring lightly, yet he pulled me back to him. I smiled and laughed a bit after he mumbled something in his sleep.

He practically begged me to sleep in his room, trying to seduce me in the process. I couldn't even say no because after all, he was doing me a favor. Showing me who I was and throwing me that party.

Then, I tried moving again, but his grip tightens unconsciously. His face scrunched when I tried to move again, yet it relaxed when I stayed still. Bucky's thumb rubbed my side as he continued to snore. The first time I've exactly seen him get good sleep. Lucky.

What am I doing here?

This all felt rushed. One moment, I'm killing bad guys in France. The next: I have one of the strongest and deadliest super soldiers wrapped around my finger.

Not to mention, Sharon Carter, who knows some of my dirtiest secrets, still works for the government in a way. She could easily have me arrested on the account of treason.

That thought made me finally sit up in bed.

Sharon knows things that I've done and people that I'm connected with. Most of those people are Raft prisoners, who have unleashed hell among armies and governments. If those said governments were to find out that I had anything to do with it, I can kiss the life I want with Carter goodbye.

I sighed and wiped my face, finally standing from the bed. Bucky stirred in the bed again. He turned to his side and groaned. I brushed the covers to the side. I walked over to the chair and put on a t-shirt, not caring if it was mine or his, and a pair of sweatpants. I fixed my hair by pulling up and leaving out the curling pieces.

I walked out of the room and down the hall to the lounge. I didn't bother turning on lights or anything, but I still walked in and sat down at the piano I spotted the first day. Dusty, I opened the lid and straightened my shoulders.

I began playing anything that came into my head, and then, I settled on a small melody. I didn't want to wake anyone up, so I didn't hit any major notes. I kept the keys at a constant pace, feeling the music and closing my eyes. I haven't played in months. Years maybe. Everything felt like it was falling into place when I pressed the keys lightly. Yet, the sound erupted throughout the lounge, bouncing off the walls. 

"Symphony No. 5," Bruce Banner leaned against the doorframe. He rubbed his hands together and stumbled off of the wall nervously. "In C minor. It sounded amazing." I nodded and closed the lid, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Oh no, you didn't wake me. I'm working on the blood sample from Syria." Bruce rubbed his left hand through his hair while the right one clung to the package. "I'm gonna go work now."

I stood from my seat and walked over to him, "If you want some help, I can come. I really want to see it myself as well."

Bruce nodded. We ended up walking down a few floors while talking about Syria and the events. "I have a theory that Hydra is trying to create mutants," Bruce opened the door for me, "I mean, we seen it first hand there. Those cells were multiplying themselves very quickly."

"What about this blood sample?" I questioned. Bruce laid it on the microscope and placed his eyes on it. "Can you hand me that notebook? There's a sample in the fridge labeled Rogers. Can you get that as well?"

I nodded and grabbed the things. I placed them on the counter. He moved the microscope my way, and I bent down to look in it. The cells moved rapidly, crashing into each other and pulling apart, causing different colors and shapes to appear.

"Now, look at Steve cells." I looked through the second microscope, seeing how these cells were perfect. I looked at Bruce, who was recording everything, and said, "Did you check my sample?"

"No, we had to send it to a more professional lab in Wakanda. King T'Challa and his sister should let us know when it's ready." I sat back on the stool, staring at him as he worked.

He busied himself with everything before him, yet he still looked relaxed. Like all the seriousness in the room didn't affect him.

"Why couldn't you do it here?"

"I'll be honest," He turned to me, placing down his pen, "I didn't know what I was looking at. It wasn't like Steve or Bucky, and it sure as hell didn't look like mine." I chuckled, "Thank God, your cells don't look like mine, or this compound wouldn't be standing. You taking on energy from the arc reactor was something we've never seen."

I bowed my head, "Speaking off, did you guys ever figure out who hacked it?"

Bruce nodded, pointing me towards some files that sat on his desk in a corner. I searched them and quickly recognized the face and name. I excused myself, walking up to the 3rd floor and onto the balcony.

I pulled out my phone and made a call to someone I've spoken to in a while.

"May's Sperm Bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?" I sighed. I haven't heard that in a while. "May, it's Y/N."

"I thought you were dead."

"Yeah, I would have been if you successfully blew up the arc reactor," I leaned over the railing, "May, what the hell? What were you thinking? That you'll get away with it? They have files on you."

She sighed on the other end before talking again, "I did that to save you. By the way, Danny and I are fine as well. Just letting you know since you're too stuck up in your life with the Avengers." I rolled my eyes and pulled the phone from my ears.

I sighed, "I miss you guys so much." I smiled. "I'll be out of this soon. Just hold out for a little while longer, please. Then, it's just you, me, Danny, and Carter. One big happy family."

It was quite a moment before she spoke again, "Honestly, Y/N, I know you. You could have easily escaped that place. You want to stay. Just stay. We're doing better without you anyway." May hung up before I could talk again. I sat down in one of the seats, looking over at the sunset. I leaned back and relaxed.

Maybe, May was right.

I didn't want to leave. For once, I felt like I found peace. Yeah, I was still fighting, but it was much different from all those years in hiding. I felt peaceful knowing that Carter was safe. No one could get to her as long as she was in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands. I was fine being here in the compound. Although I didn't fully trust the team, I had enough faith in them to know they had my back. Whatever comes up, they would back me.

And Bucky. He was the sense of home I'd been searching for all those years ago. He was the missing link to uncovering who I was before becoming a Hydra agent. As long as I had him, things would be okay. So, why did it feel like I was heading for another disaster?