America's Crazy Ass States

Minnesota

(Note - Another chapter up! I only own my states that's it. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please tell me if I get anything wrong. Minnesota is here and he's fucking adorable. Managing to finish Minnesota in time is like a late birthday present to me.)

Minnesota came to America's doorstep with the rest of the Louisiana Purchase. He was 4 at the time and is 12 years old in modern-day. Minnesota is the 32nd state. 

Before America, Minnesota was often found clinging to Louisiana. He was a pretty quiet toddler. When they traveled to America, he kind of just sat around. A shy little kid. Eventually, he opened up and was spoiled as fuck. Then the Civil War hit and things got really depressing for Minnesota. Being 6 during a Civil War kinda sucks. More in the long paragraph. 

Minnesota's name is Ambroise Jones. His nicknames are Minny, Soda, Amy, and Ames. Minnesota has almond-colored skin and wavy, golden blonde hair. His big, baby blue eyes can get him anything. 

His personality? A brat who's also a cutie. Minnesota can be nice when he wants to be. He just chooses violence. He has a bit of a short temper. But since he's only 12 It's less scary and more cute as fuck when he's mad. 

Mississippi and Minnesota sometimes team up to annoy the fuck out of the other states. 

The only one that doesn't love Minnesota's attitude and sass is Wisconsin. Minnesota likes to annoy Wisconsin, mostly by clinging to his legs while he's trying to go somewhere. 

He manages to produce a lot of salt when it comes to sports. Speaking of sports, Minnesota loves to play hockey. His weapon of choice is a hockey stick. Vermont and Minnesota will test Canada's patience. 

Sweaters and jackets are Minnesota's shit. North face jackets? He has at least 10. 

Minnesota prefers the cold to anything else. Not just because of his love for snow but also past trauma. Trauma? Yep, the Burning of Washington D.C was pretty traumatic for him. His first true home being burned down while his brother who's almost the same age as him is being burned alive. Took a while for him to get used to fire again, he's still afraid of it. Welp, there are two reasons to keep him away from Massachusetts now. There's pyromania and that Massachusetts is a bad influence on him. 

Despite being afraid of the stove and sometimes the oven, Minnesota manages to make a hot dish every Christmas. With supervision of course. 

Nevada is not allowed to be in a room with Minnesota alone. Actually, Nevada isn't allowed to hang out alone with a lot of states after the Marijuana Accident of 1985. Minnesota was disallowed from hanging out with him after Nevada taught him how to play poker and gamble.

 Caribou Coffee is life to him. 

So are crockpots. 

The only place Minnesota will shop at is Target. Well, that's a bit of an over-exaggeration. But he still shops there a lot. 

Minnesota has 87 fishing poles. Doesn't seem like the type to like fishing, eh? He mostly goes fishing to calm down or relax. Anyway, these fishing poles represent his counties. 

Mall of America, Minnesota hates going there for one reason. It's too fucking big. 

Minnesota likes nature, he likes looking at nature far away. Bugs and animals chasing after him isn't for him. Well, camping isn't for him. Minnesota often bothers New Hampshire for nature photos. 

Minnesota has every Scott Fitzgerald book and he's kinda ashamed. 

Rollerblades were invented in Minnesota. Minnesota loves rollerblading. Louisiana sometimes takes Minnesota to Junior roller derby contests. He hasn't won anything but still enjoys going to them.