America's Crazy Ass States

Mini Story - New York Hates Massachusetts

(Note - this whole chapter is used just to get a chapter out. I've been busy and uninspired. Mostly been writing stuff for my Ao3/Archive Of Our Own account. Anywho, this chapter will also be used to talk about Vermont. Who I've realized has messed up every system I have. So I highly recommend going back and reading her chapter. She has a new name, appearance, and a slightly new personality. Told myself I will never change the names of the state no matter how ugly they are *cough cough Kentucky*, welp I did. Good thing her name is only said 18 times in this story.

Another thing, going over all the systems that exist for the states. Age - human age is established by a 50 year system in Florida's chapter. Another system is state age and colony age. States often ignore settlement dates and human ages and prefer to list themselves using state ages. Colony age only comes up in groups, ex: 13 Colonies and Louisiana Purchase tend to use colony age often. Appearance - Establish by the parents/colonizers. Existence in general - A state/colony/ territory personification will come into existence when the first permanent settlement is established. Vermont is excluded from this because she was part of New Hampshire at the time so she only appeared when she became Independent. It's the same for Maine, the only change being he appeared when he became a state. Also government plays a big part. Ex: America was weaker than the state during the Articles of Confederation, all Confederate states went through a growth spurt when they left. A state that was formerly two would still have two personification when they combined. As well, ideas could bring a personification into existence. Oceanix exists for this one reason. Not getting into why Portland/Jefferson exists.

Do any of these go against canon? Maybe, I don't care. My favorite fanfics are the ones that ignore canon so eh, it's transferring over to me. Harry Potter and Supernatural fics break canon all the time so I;m just used to it.

Sorry for the long start note but time to confront why literally none of the American micronations/territories in general have appeared in this story, any of the other propose states, and the mystery that is the Philippines(yes I know he's now canon, he's adorable), Guam, and Puerto Rico in this story. Answer, I don't know. I would say any personification that's been a part of the USA knows about the states. I'm not including any of them in this story because they would make everything so complex. Might make a separate story that focuses on them and just the historical side of the states. On Archive Of Our Own of course because Wattpad sucks sometimes.

Anywho check out my Archive of Our Own account(InsaneBee) for more content. I suggest reading Craving Communist Dick because I worked a bit too hard on that crack fic.

Context for this chapter, it's in colonial times!)

Noah ran up to Alfred, nearly knocking him over.

"Woah, buddy!" Alfred yelped, steadying the excited colony.

He soon found something furry being shoved into his face.

Noah gave him a toothy smile, "I found a cat!"

Alfred blinked, with eyes focusing on the 'cat' in front of him. It wasn't a cat.....it was a beaver.

Alfred struggled to hold in the giggle threatening to erupt. In the background, he saw Marcus and Theodore trying to quiet their laughter.

"That's a nice-"Alfred let out a tiny snort"-cat."

Noah beamed at him.

-

Noah looked down as his coat was pulled. Casper blinked innocently up at him and held up a fluffy creature.

"I found a cat." Casper chirped, holding the raccoon up for Noah to see.

Across the room, Noah could see Marcus grinning at him and giggling. That little sh-

"Do you like her?" The little colony asked.

Noah nodded, "that's a real nice cat, Cas."

Noah's eye twitched as Marcus broke down in giggles.

Asshole.