CHAPTER 20

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Everyday, Suna go to your house and walk the two of you to school. He go to your house every morning and evening. It was like that for a couple of months. He never ditch you, not even once.

Right now, Riri is playing with Suna at your living room. It's Sunday, everyone doesn't have work or school. You prepared snacks, which is onigiri and their favorite jelly fruit sticks. "Baby, here's your snacks."

"Thanks. momma!" your son kissed you and pulled you to his side.

The three of you looks like a happy family at a Sunday afternoon. You feed your son, the boys are playing a board game. 

"Y/n, feed me too." your brows quickly met.

"What? No."

"Feed me~~"  Suna clings to you but you keep on pushing him. 

What kind of crap is he pulling in front of our son?!

You push his face but he keep on bugging you. "Mom, feed daddy!"

"What? your on his side?" you made a sad face because of your child's cheering.

"Come on, Riri want you to feed me.." you looked at your son's face that is looking forward for your action. You sigh and smack the food on Suna's mouth. "Thjganks."

"Pfft." you hold your laugh because his mouth is stuffed with one whole big onigiri.

As time goes by, Suna is spending more time in your house. He have a lot of things in your place like, toothbrush, clothes, shoes, perfume and many more. It's similar with the past. He almost lived at my place. Sometimes he sleep over when Riri request, you love your son so much and you just can't say no to him.

You are pretty much living to raise him. I mean, what else can you do? you don't regret having him, them. Some people- your relatives keep on saying that most girls your age is living their lives with a boyfriend, partying and such. They said that I wasted my youth.

I did not. There's nothing more precious than Riri and Rina. Of course I wasn't able to have a life like others, but they don't have it the same as me. I choose this life and they choose them. And my relatives doesn't have a say to me. It's not like they helped nor saw me during my struggles. 

"Momma, we have a festival at school. Will mom and dad show up?" Riri asked before going to sleep.

"Really? when? I'll come! you go ask your dad tomorrow okay?"

"Yey!"

The next day your son asked Suna as soon as he enter the house. And of course he said yes, as expected. You know Suna wants to expiate the years he lost to his son. 

The day of Festival came and the three of you is wearing a family shirt. It's a little embarrassing, awkward for some reason but Riri is happy so you just went with it.

"Let's take pictures." Suna said while the three of you is resting after joining the sack race. He hold his phone landscape and you were surprise when he wrap his arm on your shoulder to pull the you closer. "Baby, smile."

You just smiled. On the other hand, Your son made a lot of poses and funny faces. His father continuously take photos.

"Mom, dad! let me take your picture!" Riri grab Suna's phone and faced the camera to his parents.

"Wait, honey-"

"Alright!" Suna grabbed your waist and rest his head on your shoulder. He likes this position a lot. A realized you stared at him for quite sometime, so you pulled yourself together and smiled at the camera. 

'I probably look bad at the first pictures, not that it matters' you said to your mind.

"Mom! Dad, I'll play with my friends. You guys stay here okay?"

You check his towel on the back and wipe his face before letting him go. "Okay, have fun!"

You watch your son run to his friends. He's so big now. He use to be so small and fragile on your arms. Hah... Don't rush on growing up.

You felt a hand playing on your stomach. It's Suna, he haven't let go of you. "Hey, can you let go?"

"No."

"What? Stop it.." he didn't stop. Instead he pulled you closer and carry on his lap. "What the hell! were are school! There's kids and-"

"We can do this at home?"

"W-wh- No!" you're slapping him on his arms but you feel like it doesn't do anything. He is more muscular.           

"You're attention is all over Riri... I can't strike my chance."

You sigh knowing what he meant. You swore that you'll live for Riri and provide him everything he needs, house, food, love, care and such. Like you said before you are not sure if you can enter intimate relationship, you gave Suna a chance  because you think Riri needs him.

"You know.. You can give everything to our son but you must have something left for yourself." you froze from what he said. 

"Am I doing it wrong?" Did I get it wrong?

"I'm not saying that. You might not notice it but when you love something- someone you tend to give your everything and loose yourself on the way. Like your love to me. I'm not saying that 'that kind of love' is wrong, a love that's all out. That how you love, people have different ways to love. But you might need to be a little selfish sometimes and think about yourself at some point..."

That's probably the longest time Suna spoke. And I listen to every word of it. You took the time to fully understand what he said before answering.

"I don't seek anything, what's there to be selfish about?"

"Maybe it's because your a mom now, you prioritize Riri's happiness, but you know what I mean. A love, happiness and contentment for yourself not for Riri."

You spaced out trying to reflect from his words. I thought Suna didn't change. He did, he's more mature now and he understand me well more than I understand myself. He see through my actions, habits that I am not aware of. 

We really didn't make any progress for this past few months. Was he observing me? Maybe he is trying to adjust and give me some time to fully be open to love him again?

Or was it just my Imagination?

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THANK YOU FOR READING < 3!!

Life is burning the shii out of me. I hate it here.

More Suna and Y/n this coming chapters!

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