FANFICTION Torn apart connected

Chapter 8 I'm so whipped

Sam's POV

My soul feels untangled after three weeks. It feels so good to be with him. He smiles at me and I am completely taken.

Taken by his face. His eyes. His skin.

I feel so good around him.

I dutifully eat his somewhat salty food and interrupt the peaceful silence, "Would you like to go to the Spring Festival with me? There's a Ferris wheel there, too."

Yu's eyes widen. He shine at me.

An unobtrusive nod is my response.

I can't withstand the depth of his gaze for long. I stand up and begin to clear the table.

Together we wash up and dry the dishes standing side by side.

"Have you also recovered a bit lately? Eaten enough?" he asks me anxiously. He is so sweet when he worries about me.

Everyone noticed the 10kg I lost during Season 2. I was asked about it in various interviews. How many times was I asked if it was over with my girlfriend and I was now slimming down because of lovesickness.

But the truth is that I lost myself.

The fact that my happiness, this intense feeling, was limited in time from the beginning, gnawed at me strongly. After the intimate scene, I was no longer able to think about an after. The fear that the dream would soon end caused grief. A pain that did not allow me to develop an appetite.

I was living my dream.

After the shooting, we spent every day together. Our performances together made me doubt myself.

The usually cool Sam is moody and expressive. I couldn't stand so many moments. And it showed on my face.

Yu remained the same as always. He hugged me, played the shows' clearly ambiguous games with eager commitment. Everyone agreed that I absolutely succumbed to his charisma and flirt.

True enough.

When he was not around me, I was gripped by a biting restlessness. When someone hugged him, touched him, teased him, my heart tightened.

Again, everyone saw me seething.

I, Sam, the calm and collected, cool guy, was not in control.

I'm so whipped.

With my head slightly down, I squint over at him. He hiccups and slaps my arm, laughing.

"You seem to have recovered nicely without me," I say, unconsciously reproachful.

His grin escapes and a void is left behind. Barely audible, he sighs and turns away.

I wonder at his reaction.

"Hey, what's up?", I ask him, closing the distance between us.

Silence.

After what feels like an eternity, he turns his gaze back in my direction. "I'm restless without you," he reveals to me.

My heart stops. Did he really say that? What does he mean by it?

Before I can catch my breath, he slides into my arms and lets his head rest against my chest.

I'm pretty sure he hears my pounding heartbeat.

We surrender to the feeling and remain silent. I carefully put my arms around his waist. He encircles my torso with his arms.

If only I could read his mind.

He moves his head to the side and nestles tentatively against my collarbone. His face touches my neck. I lean my head against his forehead. He nestles even closer.

Silently, we stand there, feeling each other.

I feel his silent tears on my skin. They call for my tears at their side. Our tears give themselves to longing for each other.

Suddenly I feel his lips on my neck.

Just tenderly. A breath.

A flood of emotion flows through my body.

An open mouth. Soft lips on my skin.

His breath breathes away my senses.

I feel the heat rising inside me.

With a jerk I withdraw before he can feel my arousal.

That seems to encourage him. Because he holds me tighter, lifts his head and looks me directly in the eyes. One hand grips the back of my neck, the other approaches my face.

He brushes away the tears from my cheeks with his thumb.

I die.

And mimic him. And look at his lips. Dangerously close.

My stiff member twitches against my pants.

I avert my gaze from his lips, searching for a way to keep my composure.

Only to be frozen by his gaze.

His gaze steals my breath and makes me lose everything.

Grief, love, and lust rush through my body and combine into one explosion.

"Let's go!", Yu snaps me out of my plan to kiss him right then and there.

"Mmm," I murmur, "let's go!"