𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒚 | ✔

Chapter 60

*Erin's POV*

It's been two month since I nearly lost Jay.
Tomorrow was our first day back at work.
I hadn't been to work since the birth of our daughter and Jay had not been since his near-death experience.
Hank had turned the whole city upside down, but Bunny and Mark weren't to be found anywhere.
There was now a national wanted for attempted murder for Bunny and one with a few charges for Matt, but I had no hope that we would find them as they must have already left the country or something else.
Basically everything was back to normal, but then it totally wasn't.
The experience with Matt left me deeply traumatized.
At first I hadn't noticed, but after Jay was feeling a little better and he had recovered from his injuries, he wanted to sleep with me again, so far I hadn't been able to do it.
I often woke up sweaty at night because I had dreamed about it again and when Jay touched me I often withdrew from his touch or started to cry.
I was sorry for Jay, but I just couldn't stand it just yet.

Sexualcontent so you maybe want to skip a little when you don't like reading stuff like that.
Idk

We were in bed, Jay was behind me and had his arms around me and my back was pressed against him, which is why I felt that he really wanted me.
"Just do it." I knew he wasn't sleeping because he sucked in a breath as I moved and touched it.
"I can't." Obviously he wasn't talking about the physical part, but his mental attitude.
"Guess then I'll make you." I took a deep breath and then took my place on top of him.
"Don't... do it... please." Jay couldn't really concentrate on his words anymore as I slowly pulled down his boxers.
"It's okay." I was still fine and I even enjoyed teasing him a bit by taking my time.
"Erin." Actually he had wanted to say something else, but my name came out more as a moan as I helped him slide into me.
As soon as I felt him inside me, the panic came back, the fear that he would hurt me even if I knew that Jay was always careful.
It took me a moment before I started to find a rhythm, I bit my lip to hold back the tears that were threatening to come up.
I didn't want to stop right now, because I didn't want to let have Jay doing it himself again, as he had had to do for the past few weeks.
He had closed his eyes and I noticed how he was trying not to make any noise so as not to make it even more uncomfortable for me.
"You don't have to stay quit for me." I stopped for a moment and kissed him, but I noticed, as he surely did too, that the kiss wasn't really loving, but simply a distraction for me, but he didn't say anything, just kissed me back.
The veins on Jay's neck and arms continued to protrude and I knew he was almost finished.
Jay tensed and then came inside me.
His was breathing heavily.
As soon as I noticed that he was slowly stopping to be hard, I got off him.

You can continued reading here then when you chose not to read it.

I got out of bed and ran to the bathroom because I needed to throw up.
The memories pounded on me, Matt's hot breath, his laugh, the feeling that had spread inside me when he was with me, it was all too much for me.
After my stomach emptied, I leaned against the wall, breathing heavily.
Sweat ran down my face and I was shaking.
I pulled my legs up against my body and put my arms around my knees trying to find comfort.
"Erin?" Jay was standing in the bathroom door and as soon as I looked at him I was shaking more, I didn't know why, but I saw Matt and not Jay in front of me.

*Jay's POV*

"Hey." I knelt down next to her and put a hand on Erin's shoulder, which was clearly wrong.
She turned and looked at me with panic in her eyes.
But I don't think she was looking at me because it felt like she was looking through me, seeing someone else.
"Erin it's me, Jay." Something in her look changed and our eyes locked.
"Could you get dressed?" Only now did I notice that she was looking doggedly at my face so as not to see the rest of my body.
"Sorry." I hung a towel around my waist and then left her alone.