Learning Control

Chapter 10: What if?

"Wow, are you okay, Patton?" Remus asked as he sat down with Janus for lunch. "No offense, but you look like shit."

"I'm okay, I didn't get much sleep," Patton said, rubbing his eyes.

Janus frowned and looked around. "Where's Virgil?"

"He wasn't feeling well, so I told him to rest and called one of the doctors. He... he should be okay."

"Maybe you should have stayed too, to catch up on some sleep," Logan advised.

"I'll be fine, besides if I stayed in the dorm you know I would just be worrying over Virgil all day."

"I hope he feels better," Roman said. "It sounds serious if he kept you up all night."

"Yeah, but he's really strong. The doctor said he'll be okay, he should still be at the dorm resting up. Hopefully he's sleeping, he's probably exhausted."

"What happened? He seemed okay the day before."

"It's... it's complicated," Patton yawned. "I think I'm just gonna take a quick nap."

He laid down on the table, pushing his untouched food aside. Logan readjusted the hoodie around Patton's shoulder and took off his glasses.

"That's gay," Janus mumbled, though he shut up when Logan sent a glare at him.

"He'll be fine," Logan said when he saw Roman's worried look. "And so will Virgil. They just need some rest."

"I hope so, has something like this happened before?" Roman asked.

Logan and Janus shared a look that Roman couldn't read. Logan shook his head and said, "Sadly yes. But Virgil will get through this. You don't need to worry, Roman, just give him some time."

"Don't worry bro, your best bud will be okay," Remus said, punching Roman's arm. "Just like the time we got the flu! I thought I was gonna die, but we were okay after a week of throwing up and dealing with muscle cramps."

"Yeah, that was pretty bad," Roman agreed. "I'm sure you guys are right, he'll be fine."

~~~

Roman walked to Virgil's dorm, a plastic bag in hand. He heard voices inside the room when he got there, which was odd since Logan said he was going to take Patton to his room so Patton could rest.

He knocked and the voices stopped. After a moment, he heard someone call, "One minute!" followed by sounds of someone moving.

After a while, the door opened and revealed Thomas.

"Hey, Roman was it?" he asked. "What brings you here?"

"I was just coming to check if Virgil is okay, I heard he wasn't feeling well so I brought him some things," Roman answered. He looked past Thomas and saw Virgil sitting up in bed.

"It's fine Thomas, he can come in," Virgil said, his voice sounding rough.

"Okay well, I'll just leave you two alone. You know how to reach me if you need me," Thomas said, slipping out of the room as Roman walked in.

"Yeah, see you later."

Roman waved bye as Thomas closed the door. He turned to Virgil, who looked tired and disheveled. He was still wearing pajamas and his hair was a mess, plus he didn't have any makeup on which was an odd sight for Roman.

"Sorry for scaring Thomas away," Roman said.

"It's fine, he's busy anyway," Virgil replied. "I shouldn't bother him too much."

"He didn't seem very bothered."

"Yeah, well... I don't know." Virgil shrugged.

"Well, how are you holding up?" Roman asked, walking forward hesitantly.

"Could be better, but I am doing okay. Much better than last night."

"I- uh, I brought you some things." Roman held the bag up. "I wasn't sure if you had a stomach ache or anything, so I brought some ginger ale and I also brought a kit-kat in case you wanted some candy."

That seemed to bring a smile to Virgil's face. "That's... really thoughtful. I don't have a stomach ache, but I'll still take the ginger ale."

"Alright, I'll just..." Roman set the bag down on the desk. "I wasn't sure what your favorite candy is."

"It's fine, I like kit-kats. I mean, who doesn't?"

Roman laughed, mostly because he was nervous. "Yeah, they're pretty good. And-and I consider us friends and my love language is giving gifts, though I probably should stop shopping since I'm running low on power points, but uh..."

"Thank you, Roman, I consider us friends too."

Roman gave him a smile before it morphed into a more worried look. "Are you sure you're okay? I was really worried and I heard, well guessed you were up all night since Patton was tired."

Virgil winced, feeling guilty about that. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. Logan took him to his dorm so he could sleep, he knew if he were here, Pat would just worry all over you like a father."

"He is the dad of the friend group."

"Yeah, I guess that makes Logan the mom. For all I know, they're probably making out."

Virgil snorted. "Nah, they're both scaredy cats. They're both blind and awkward, it would be a miracle if they kissed now."

"Well, they say love is blind. Hold on, your hair is bothering me." Roman reached forward and combed through Virgil's hair with his fingers, fixing it up and leaving it in front of Virgil's eyes.

Virgil squeezed his blanket when he felt his face heat up, hoping the blush wasn't bright enough for Roman to notice. Why did he start blushing so much? Why was it so hard to breathe?!

"Are you okay? Your forehead is really warm," Roman said, sounding worried.

"Ye-" Virgil cleared his throat, looking around desperately for a distraction. "Y-yeah. Hold-hold on." He grabbed the bag from his desk and pulled out the kit-kat, opening it and breaking it in half. "Would you like to share?"

"Oh, you don't have to, I got it for you."

"No, it's okay, really, I insist."

"Well, okay." Roman took the half that Virgil was holding out to him. He sat down on Virgil's bed and took a bite. "Can I ask what happened last night?"

"I..." Virgil sighed heavily, trying to find the words. "I um..."

Roman pressed his lips together for a moment. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me."

"I'm sorry, it's just... well... It's a lot and I don't want to worry you. And... it's kinda personal."

Virgil debated whether or not he should show Roman, but if he does then Roman would have so many questions whether or not he would voice those questions. He'd want to know what happened and that was hard for Virgil to talk about.

But it wasn't like other kids at the school didn't know. The older kids that were there when he first came know, when he was still in a wheelchair before he learned how to walk with prosthetics.

And there were the other disabled kids, they knew because Virgil has become friends with them. Not to mention the little kids, Virgil loves to hang out with the younger kids. Especially the orphans, Virgil was like a big brother to them.

And his other friends knew, Patton, Logan, and Janus. He should tell Roman and Remus.

But for some reason it was so hard to. What if he scares Roman away? What if he thinks it's freaky, I mean he's missing his legs! What if it disgusts him?

He felt Roman put his hand on his arm and looked up to him.

"Hey, it's okay," Roman told him. "You can take your time with telling me anything, if you want to tell me anything at all. In fact, if you don't want to, you don't ever have to tell me anything you're hiding. I know I get curious, but I will respect your privacy."

Virgil smiled at him. "Thank you, Roman."