Reassurance.

chapter twelve.

I stare up at the ceiling, Jamies words swimming around my mind. "Accept the facts" ... "Dwelling doesn't help anything, it only drags you down."

Jamie was right. "accept the facts, accept the facts, accept the facts" I repeat in my head. Why was it so hard? I wonder what there actually is to accept about getting raped at a young, innocent age. I sit up abruptly and draw my knees to my chest. I was going to be here for a while in this state.

Accept the facts. Accept that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time? accapt that life just does this? that was a hard way of putting it. 'Life just does this'?

"grrr" I growl to myself. "Life is a bitch."

I rest my head on my knees. So, I was young and innocent, alone, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Easy target I guess. I have to accept that I was an easy target. I suppose it was stupid of me to run away like that in a tantrum, on my own in the dark. Stupid stupid stupid! I fling my head up and whack it against the wall.

I sit and just think. Repeating the word 'accept' in my head. Then I switch and tell myself I shouldn't dwell.

"Well I can't exactly help the flashbacks" I mutter to myself. I continue sitting for 5 minutes until I hear Luca arrive home. I have decided I need therapy. I jump up from the sofa and make my way to the kitchen where Luca and Jamie are sitting.