Definition Of tmi

guess im leaving

Coming at you with another chaperrr

  I've pretty much recovered from Monday but it's still touchey. Some things just make me sensitive.

  My dad wanted my brother and I over for dinner so he could give us more important news.

  At first it didn't seen serious. He talked about how they found a hospice situation for her where she could have her own studio apartment and furniture inside it. So it will feel like home. She really wants to go home but even if someone was there at all times we can't provide the help she needs.

  Then he proceeded to tell us that the doctors are still going with 4-6 months of life but she's refusing to eat. That's bad because she only weighs 77 pounds.

  The nurses were talking to them and informed them that once it gets this bad we don't have much time.. she could go at really any time.

  Her heart is functioning at 20% which is well in the room for cardiac arrest at any time.

   So we can't wait. I have a plane ticket for Texas tommorow to be with her. I'm flying up with my dad but he isn't coming back so I have to fly back alone... which is scary.

  He got permission to get a temporary pass where he can walk me to my terminal before my flight. Then once I get on the plane I'll be alone and when I get off I'll call my mom for precaution so she'll know nothing happened to me.

  Honestly in scared to see her like this. They say she barely even looks like herself anymore. She's just skin and bones. I don't want to regret it though if I chose to not see her. I had the choice. But I wanted to say goodbye.

  I haven't had another breakdown yet so I think o got all of the shock out of my system already and now it's just a fact I suppose.

  I'm only going to miss school today and Tuesday next week because I didn't want my schoolwork to build up.

  So I know it's gonna be a hard weekend. I'm scared I'm gonna cry too much at my family's house and I don't know if my family would accept that I'm dating a girl so I'm not sure if I should tell them. I'm gonna ask my dad.

  I got to have a couple hours with cora yesterday so I got relief. She makes me calm.  I would have had another panic attack if I didn't see her, I think.

  So my brother's graduation is tonight then we're gonna go back to my dad's house then leave at 5 am for our flight.