Swan of Snowy Trails (Book 2 of Swan Trilogy)

Chapter 64

Chapter 64

Fuel to the Fire

Aestheria is the horizon,
From the evergreen plains of spring,
The mountains and hills of autumn,
Of snowflakes and breeze of winter,
To the rays of sunshine in summer!

Freedom will be our wings and flight,
To where the sky and ocean meets,
Our courage will sail with the tides,
This is my home and peace,
Glory to our motherland!

May your flag touch the stars!

They sang the national anthem with their palm touching their hearts, heads held up high to look up at the flag waving above us, the flag with the color of white, blue, and pink.

I didn't say a word. The flag isn't my home. It was Prince Tydeus Adler Valdemar Hanselion, the main reason why I came back to the land of beauty, power, and grace.

Instead of singing to a flag that almost got me killed, I sang for Tyler and his courageous love. I sang for his family that survived their past tragedy and their crowning glory. I sang for their ancestors that ruled before them. I sang for the unsung heroes that made the world a better place.

To Renfry, Brielle, and Wally who sacrificed their lives for us. I gave them my greatest salute and honor as a knight.

Hindi rin ako nagtagal sa ceremony sa encampment. Dumiretso ako sa hotel na tinutuluyan ng Hanselions at pinuntahan ang floor ni Tyler, going straight to his bathroom and locked myself there.

Pinagmasdan ko ang aking repleksyon sa salamin. May bahid ng dugo ang aking mukha at kamay, pinaghalong pawis at dumi ang balat ko, pati rin ang aking buhok ay tinabunan ng alikabok.

I took off my clothes, I felt dirty and disgusted of myself, the stain of their blood won't ever be cleansed in my conscience.

Pumasok ako sa loob ng shower bago hinatak ang shower curtain. Binuksan ko ang faucet at hinayaan ko lang ito na kumalat sa aking buhok at katawan. Unti-unting naghalo ang pula at itim sa paanan ko na hinihigop ng tubhole.

Hinugasan ko ang sarili ko ng sabon at shampoo at lahat-lahat pero hindi pa rin nawawala ang dumi na dala ko nang nakapahamak ako ng ibang tao. 

I cried for an hour in the shower. The battle wasn't something I could deal with because I have to bear the thought of people who had died there.

Akala ko kapag umiyak ako, it will make me weak. But it's not. I have to let my emotions go then let it win and defeat me.

How did Queen Anais survive a battle like that? She had been through much worse during World War II and yet she will still give her brightest smile more powerful than the sun.

Siguro nakalimutan niya ang ibang malalang parte sa gyera nila noon pero ito ang isa sa mga bagay na ayoko nang harapin muli.

One battle is enough for me to realize how fragile we really are. How it can be easy to take away a life.

Nagising lang ako nang may kumatok sa pinto, pinapatawag na nila ako para sa meeting. Tumayo ako mula sa bathtub, pinatay ang shower, atsaka tumayo na tumatagaktak ang tubig sa aking katawan at bumabagsak sa bath water.

I feel numb and my entire body ached from exhaustion. I want to go back to bed with Tyler and fall asleep in his arms, letting my head lay on his chest. 

I miss him so much. I shouldn't have left his bed. I should've stayed there beside Prince Tydeus where I could rest in his loving arms.

I wiped away the foggy steam from the mirror. A reflection of a tired face with a red nose and puffy eyes appeared right in front of me, wet hair sticks on her pale skin like muddy vines, her doll eyes and long lashes wet from all the crying.