For what it's worth

Chapter 8

As I packed my bags to leave my phone lit up

*still coming to the airport with me? -Lando 5:03pm
*I can go with someone else if you don't want me around- Y/n 5:03pm
*nope. See you at the car in 20!xx - Lando 5:04pm

After I finished packing the last of my things I walk out to the car park to find Landos car. I see the bright orange McLaren and walk over to see lando sitting in the drivers seat on his phone. I open the door and hop in. As he drives to the airport we sit in silence, his eyes focused on the road and mine glued to my Instagram feed.
"You know Kendal jenners pregnant" I say breaking the silence
"I mean... good for her I guess" he giggles
"Don't you think that's cute, I think it's cute. A baby Kendal" I smile
"Boys don't care about that kind of thing but I guess so" he says
"So you don't care about baby's?" I ask sarcastically
"Very funny, you know what I mean"-L
Silence fills the car for a few moments
"Do you want kids?" Lando asks surprising me
"I mean, ya I'd like to have a family one day but for now, I'm just waiting to meet the right person. And when I do then I'll think about kids." I say knowing that in my head, I don't want anyone else, lando is my person.
"Ya I get that, I think everyone feels the same, well I do at least. I guess we are both just waiting for our right person" he smile and reassuring smile.
"Ya, it's hard with this job though, I don't really see anyone other than the team and people on the grid. Well I mean there is the creepy old rich men that walk through the paddock, but I'm looking for a soul mate not a sugar daddy" I giggle trying not to make it obvious how in love I have fallen with lando.
"Your a funny girl" he says giggling "but I get you, it's hard. We are never not working. I feel like people that don't work in f1 don't understand, it's a lot more than just driving. It's hard to have a social outside of team celebrations and f1 related events." He says in a more seriously tone.
"Who knows maybe I'll leave this job, go do something else, I've always wanted to study medicine."-Y/n.
"Wait you're leaving?!"-L
"I don't know... I mean I've thought about it. I love my job but, my job is my whole life here."-Y/n
"Your leaving me" he says softly sounding sad.
"Don't get your hopes up, I might stay. Just my job doesn't let me, open up my feelings. I'm forced to be this person I'm not"-Y/n.
"I get that, the contract is strict. But you can't leave me, I don't want another assistant. I'd hate them"he giggles
"You wouldn't be losing me, I'd still talk to you."I explain
"Going to a Grand Prix without you would feel like standing in the shower with no water. It's just wrong." He says
I stay silent, I want to tell him how I feel, how much I love him. We are 10 minutes away from the airport. It's now or never I say to myself.
"Lando" I say softly.
"Yes"-L
"I ehh I need to tell you something"-Y/n
"Go ahead talk to me"-L
"I..." I hesitate
"Youuu..."he says
"Ah ok so, we work together, closely obviously you know that and over the past few months I've kinda-" I'm cut off to landos know ringing.
He hangs up straight away
"Sorry about that, you where saying the past few mounts you've ...?" -L
"Ya no it's nothing" I say sadly
"No no tell me I want to know" he says parking the car.
"Well to keep it short and sweet, I think you should know I've fallen in love with you but it doesn't matter." I say getting out of the car with my bag walking away.
"Wait, y/n wait!! You can't just walk away from me"
"I'm walking away" I say from the distance

After a week at home ignoring landos calls and text I leave to go to the next Grand Prix. As I go to walk onto the team airplane I see lando being seated down the back. I sit in one of the top rows away from him. Once we land i go straight to the hotel and cheek into my room.

The next day I realize today was the day I had to make contact with lando again. I couldn't ignore him anymore.
I walk through the paddock to the McLaren motor home. I hesitate to knock on Landos room door.
As he opens it I stand awkwardly.
"Eh ya hi, come in" lando says walking into the room.
"You have interviews in 10 minutes but until then Jon told me you have to eat this" I say handing him a box of food.
"So I have 10 minutes to eat, and talk to you?"he asks
"Amm no I actually have to go to a PR meeting but enjoy your food" I say walking away.
As I walk away from Landos room I feel my heart racing. All my thoughts flood my head. Seeing him reminds my how much I love him.