For what it's worth

Chapter 47

On the way to dinner Lando kept reminding me that he didn't want to keep us a secret, but for me it felt wrong, I mean I was given my dream job by McLaren, working in F1 my whole life I've always wanted to work for McLaren, they where known as the most supportive team on the grid and now I finally was, I couldn't just take it for granted. If they gave me rules I needed to accept that and follow them, it was only fair.

Once we go to dinner I saw Emily and Marcus, Carlos and his girlfriend Isabel, Daniel and some random girl that looked like he picked her up on the side of the street, Charles, Charlotte and one of his engineers, two of the McLaren engineers and finally one of the Williams engineers and his wife. It was a pretty random group of people but we all knew each other, expect Daniels random hook up, but other than her everyone else at the table knew each other. There was two tables placed next to each other due to how big the group was, and even though it felt wrong I walked past the seat next to the one Lando had sat at and walked to sit next to Emily on the other table. Most of the drivers sat at one table with there girlfriends and everyone else sat at the other table, so it looked like me and Lando weren't together. Moments after sitting down my phone buzzed and knowing that it was Lando I just ignored it as the Williams engineers, James, started a conversation with me, I used to work with him and he was one of my closer friends on the team, I liked his wife too, she was always a sweetheart to me. Minutes later it buzzed again, and I still ignored it. I returned to my conversation I was having with the James when my phone started to ring. I turned to look at where Lando was sitting and saw he was gone, so I knew it was him ringing me. I excused myself from the table and picked it up as I walked to a quieter part of the restaurant.

"You walked away from me" Lando spoke the second I picked up the phone sounding sad.
"I had to, there's McLaren workers here" I answered honestly.
"How many times do I have to tell you, I do not want to keep us a secret" he said still sounding sad.
"I know but, what if they say something to Zak, I don't want to cause more trouble" I explain.
"No one is going to say anything, I promise I know these people, you can trust them" he tries to explain but I'm still a little hesitant.
"I- I don't know, it feels wrong knowing that we shouldn't be together. We've already broken the rules so many times" I say.
"So your just going to ignore me in public now?" He asks still sounding like he is about to cry.
"No- just I don't know- in front of McLaren workers I guess" I say hesitant because of how bad it sounds, I didn't want to ignore him in public, but I couldn't bring myself to be normal knowing I wasn't meant to be with him.
"Fine then" He says hanging up the phone before I can say any more.

I take a deep breath before walking back to the table but once I take a step I see Lando walk back to the table too. I stopped and waited a little more so it didn't look suspicious, once I reached the table I was originally sitting at I stopped before continuing walking and sitting next to Lando. It took everything in me to sit next to him, and I was so scared to the point I was nearly shaking but at the end of the day, there's no one else in there I wanted to sit next to. I sat down and ignored everyone at the table while I looked down at my knees. I nervously started to play with the 'Lando' bracelet around my wrist. Seconds after Landos hand reached and grabbed mine, tracing circles on mine with his thumb like he always did to calm me down. Once everyone starts talking again I look up at Lando with a wide eye scared facial expression.

"Your okay" he says tighten his grip on my hand.
"I'm scared" I admitted.
"Come with me" he says getting up.
I get up and follow him outfit the main doors.
"What are you doing" I ask confused.
"I don't know, you said you where scared, I'm trying to help I guess I'm not too sure" he laughs.
Without sayings anything I just hug Lando for comfort. Was I behind dramatic? Probably a little. But I didn't care.
"I swear if you cry again" lando laughed hugging me back.
"Shut up" I giggle. "But seriously, we can't make it obvious we are together, I don't want to cause any drama in the team, don't get me wrong I don't want to hide our relationship but for now, can we just be friends in public so just keep the hand holding to a minimum"
"Fine fine and If you want to leave, at anytime just tell me, ok" he says pulling me away from his body so I'm looking him in the eyes.
"Ok" I smile as he kisses me before walking back into the restaurant.
"So much for being friends in public" I roll my eyes laughing as we get closer to the table.
"Friends kiss all the time" he winks with a cheeky smile before sitting down again.

Durning dinner I talked more to the other drivers and ignored Lando a little, I felt bad but he knew why I was doing it. After dinner everyone agreed to go for drinks considering it was still kind of early. I walked with Emily, Marcus, James and his wife while Lando walked with the drivers and everyone else behind us.
"So ye broke up?" Emily whispers knowing the whole situation with Lando because I told her earlier today.
"Publicly, ya, but no not really, we just can't really be seen together in public" I explain.
Quickly we join back into the conversation with the others so that nothing looks suspicious. Once we get to the club we are taken to a vip area because the workers recognized all the drivers and refused to let us drink with the 'normal' people.
Emily forced me to drink, I didn't really want to but she said after the day I had, I needed it, so that's what I did. I took shots after shots with her, soon before I even know it Im seeing two of everything, and the music is muffled in my ears. Im drunk. Like really drunk.
"Having fun?" Daniel asks laughing as he stands next to me.
"Sooo muchhhh" I say dragging out my words and trying to walk away but end up stumbling straight into Daniel.
"Woah, easy princess, where's your boyfriend, your too drunk to stay here any longer" he says sitting me on a bar stool near us.
"Imma-single-ladyyy" I say dragging my words into each other making it sound like one long word.

Well that was a fucking lie. Am I single? No. Not at all. But publicly am I ? Yup, sadly I am. Especially in front of Daniel, I don't trust him, he's definitely he type of person to snitch on us.

"Ok well then I'm taking you home, because if you stay here your going to get hurt" he says picking me up from the chair.
"Put me down I can walk myself I'm not a child" I pout.
"No you can't, stop arguing I'm trying to help you here" he says not putting me down as he walks away from the bar. 
Could I walk? Nope. But being in Daniels warms was the last place I wanted to be. Where's Lando when I needed him?
And with that thought I heard a voice behind me.
"Put her down" Lando said sternly.
"Don't start I'm not going to do anything, I'm taking her back to the hotel, she's to drunk" he says not putting me down.
"I didn't ask, I said put her fucking down" Lando says clearing getting annoyed.
"Lando Norris what did you just say" I snap my head to the side to look at him.
"I'm sorry, flooring" he corrects himself.
"Fine then, you deal with her" Daniel says putting me down and walking away immediately. I try my best to stand up straight but fail miserably as I stumble into Landos arms. He does the same as Daniel and picks me up walking towards the main doors to leave.
"I told him I was single" I whisper feeling bad resting my head on Landos shoulder. I can feel his whole body tense up when he realizes what I just said.