For what it's worth

Chapter 23

Once we all go back to the hotel I go for a shower and head to bed to relax for the evening.
The week goes by fast. Free practice was good, both Lando and Daniel felt comfortable in there cars. Daniel qualified P6 and Lando qualified P4. After quali we had a few meetings while the boys did their interviews. After that we all went back to the hotel. Some team members went out for dinner but I stayed in the hotel because I was tired and needed to sleep. As I get ready for bed my phone lights up with a notification.

*TWITCH-LANDO NORRIS IS LIVE*

I giggle and press the notification to watch the stream. He takes chat on a hotel tour showing them off all his favorite spots. The main spot ofcourse being the restaurant.
"It's sad that they close at 10 because right now, I would love some food. Wish I went with the team but eh I'd rather be here anyways" he says walking past the restaurant.
He chats about the race while he makes his way back to his room, that happens to be 4 doors away from mine. Passing my room he stops.
"I take it back, the restaurant is my second favorite place here, this room right here is my favorite chat" he says walking away smiling.
He continued talking but the comments are asking so many questions.
*
Why that room?
Who's in the room?
Is that not his room?
Why is he walking away from there if it's his room!
Omg is it a girls room?
Is it his new assistant?
Is Emily in there?
Does lando have a girlfriend?
*
Lando starts reading the questions out loud but I leave before he can answer. As much as I wanted to know what he would answer I was too nervous. I put my phone on charge and turn off the lights to go to sleep.
After a few hours I wake up in panic, I feel my hands shake and my body go numb.
I had a nightmare, Lando crashed into the barrier and never got out of the car. The race was stopped and everyone rushed to the car, while I was left standing in the garage alone drowning in my own tears.
I feel my breath shorten and my chest go tight. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. After a while I start to feel better, I looked at my phone to check the time. 7:34.
I have to be at the track for the race at 9 so there was no point in going back to sleep now. I get up and take a shower to clear my head. The imagine of Lando's car mushed into the barrier keeps replaying in my head. Getting dressed I realize that I packed the wrong McLaren hoodie, I brought one lando left at my house once, with his initials embroidered on the left arm and his name under the McLaren logo. I sigh and pull the hoodie over my head.
I tell myself it's ok, I can just get a new one in the motor home. No one will notice.
I go to the reception to wait for Daniel, Emily and Lando, we seemed to travel in a group everywhere. Once I go down I see Lando standing waiting too. I go over to him and take a deep breath. After last night I've never been more grateful to see him, alive.
"Hey" he greets me.
"Morning" I smile.
"Sleep good?" He asks.
I take a deep breath, look him in the eyes and I can't hold back.
"Nope, not at all actually" I sigh.
"Why what's up? Did something happen"
"Just a bad dream"
"Tell me about it, get it off your mind"
"I- well... no honestly it's ok"
"No, tell me, you need to talk about it to get it off your mind, you'll feel better I promise" he reassures me.
"Ok well, to keep it short, you got in a crash and- you- you didn't make it out of the car, and I was- I was left just standing there, all by myself." I sob
"I'm here" he says sadly pulling me into a tight hug.
"Hey it's ok I'm here".
I let out another sob, I can't even talk, I'm a crying mess. He pulls me away from the hug a whips my tears away. Gently placing his hands on my cheeks and pulling me back into a hug.
"I'm so sorry" I whisper.
"Don't you dare apologize, you have nothing to say sorry for" he says rubbing the back of my head still holding me close to his chest.
I start to lose my breath as the tears stream down my face.
"Breath for me just breath" "look I'll do it too, in and out" he says pulling me away from him to make eye contact. As we take deep breaths together I notice his white McLaren t-shirt is ruined with streams of my tears and makeup.
"Omg your top, swap with me, I'm wearing your one anyways" I say in a rush.
"My t-shirt is the least of my worried right now" he reassures me as I whip the last of my tears away.
"Wait... your wearing my hoodie" he smiles moving the hair that rested over his name on the hoodie.
"It was an accident, you left it at my house once, and I packed it by mistake I thought it was mine" I explain.
"Keep it, it suits you"
"I have my own one, you can take it back"
"No, I want you to keep it" he demands.
"Ok but right now, we need to swap because you wearing something full of makeup and me wearing your name, looks suspicious" I say dragging him into the elevator to go back to my room to change.
"You realize we are going to be late"
"I don't care"
"Ok ok sorry, we'll swap"
Once we swap tops I let him go down before me so it doesn't look suspicious. After a few minutes I walk down pulling my own hoodie over the stained t-shirt so nobody sees until I can change into a clean new one at the track.
"Your late" Daniel stats pulling me into a hug.
"I'm glad you can tell the time" I say annoyed.
"Moody moody moodyyyyy" Daniel says poking my side as I pull away from his hug.
"I'm tired leave me alone"
As we go to the car I sit in the back because I don't want to be near Daniel. Right now I just wanted to be alone.
Once we get to the track I go get a new t-shirt and isolate myself from everyone I possibly can, which is easy today considering I didn't have any meetings. The only thing I had to do was go to one interview with Daniel, which I some now got out of my saying I was too busy. Once I collect my emotions I go to the garage just before the race starts. I wish Daniel good luck and sit down next to his enegiers. Lando rushes over to me.
"Do I not get a good luck?" He says with a childish pout.
"Sorry, ya, good luck, and be safe" I say with a smile.
"I will, I promise I'll do my best to keep the car on track" he says kissing my forehead before he leaves or the race.
The race is going good, Both drivers made up one place so Daniel is in p5 and lando is in p3 which is amazing considering how hard it is to overtake in Monaco. There are 9 laps left to go when the camera turns to an orange McLaren that has hit the barrier.
My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and my eyes flood with tears. This can't be happening, my nightmare can't be real.
Everyone in the garage rush's around over to the pit wall to make sure the driver is ok, they still haven't identified which driver it was.
"And that looks like lando Norris is after hitting the barrier quite badly... still no movement, we hope he's ok" I hear on the tv.
I stand still in the middle of the garage alone. Just like I did in my nightmare. No one around. Time seems to stop and everything infront of me freezes. I feel like I'm standing alone drowning in my own tears for hours but I'm soon knocked out of my trance as I hear someone scream my name from afar.