ftm reader x various oneshot book

Osamu Dazai///mistaken

((Hmmm I don't think a trigger warning is necessary. I mean, it's Dazai, we all know when there's Dazai there's mention of suicide. And it takes place in the Lupin so of course there's mention of alcohol.)) Written in first person again because why not! I know it's kinda short, but I hope you enjoy! 

I was walking down the street one night when I discovered a bar. "Lupin," the sign announced, and it seemed empty enough that I could go in for a drink without being too overwhelmed.

When I walk in the door, however, I'm surprised at just how empty the place really is. "Damn, the place is deserted..." Without even a bartender in sight, I sat down and helped myself to a bottle of vodka (or something else? I don't know, I don't drink!) 

I drank enough to be pleasantly tipsy before the door opened. "Finally, I'm not the only one here!" I called out to them. I looked to see a tall man with dark hair approaching the bar, and I couldn't help but blush. I set my bottle on the bar as the man took the stool next to me.

Before I knew what was happening, the man had taken my hands in his and began a little monologue. "Oh, it's such a surprise to find such a beautiful woman here! You're so lovely, would you do me the honor of participating in double suicide with me? I've been looking for a woman of your beauty to die by my side!"

I pulled my hands from his and glared at his irritatingly attractive face. "Excuse me? First of all, I'm not a woman. And second of all, as much as I'd love to die, I'm not quite sure I should be committing double suicide with a man I barely know.."

His eyes widened innocently. "Oh, my apologies! In that case, what are your pronouns?"

I was surprised he was considerate enough to ask, after what just happened. "He/him. And you?"

"The very same. Now, that is a bit disappointing..I was hoping I'd finally found the perfect partner to enact my dream."

"Your dream is to die?"

"Of course! What's your dream...sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"That's because I didn't throw it." I chuckled a bit at my own (lame) joke before telling him, "It's (y/n) (l/n). You can just call me (y/n)."

"In that case, just call me Dazai."

"Alright, Dazai. And as for dreams, I really couldn't say. I suppose I don't have a dream."

And at this he smiled at me- smiled!- and said, "Well surely you have a dream, (y/n)."

"Well," I admitted after some thought, "maybe one."

"Would you care to share? You don't have to, of course."

"No, I..maybe I do dream of death, but perhaps more so I dream of a world that makes life seem worth the trouble."

"I'm afraid such a world will never exist," Dazai replied solemnly, taking a sip of the drink I hadn't even noticed him fix.

"Do you come here often?" I asked.

"Not as much as I used to," he told me, his slender finger tracing the rim of his cup. "I used to meet here with some friends."

"Oh. What happened there?"

"We drifted apart," he lied. It wasn't hard to see the sorrow in his eyes, telling me he'd lost at least one of the friends of which he spoke.

"I'm sorry," I offered, kind words that we both knew would do nothing to assuage his pain.

He downed his drink. "It's all in the past now," he said, lying yet again.

I decided not to push it. "Still, nobody deserves to lose their friends."

"Maybe not. But that's what happens when you live, (y/n). You lose things and you lose people."

I hoped he was wrong, but I knew he wasn't.

In an impulse decision (and a poor one at that), I decided to down the rest of my vodka, placing the empty bottle back at the bar once I finished. I needed a little something after this depressing conversation.

"I swear, Dazai, it's like you're still tryna convince me to kill myself with you."

He shrugged. "I'm not opposed to the idea. Although I'd originally planned on doing so with a woman, we could commit double suicide together if you'd like."

I laughed. "I must be drunk already to be considerin' this.."

"Maybe the drink's just brought you to your senses," he replied, his brown eyes meeting my (e/c) ones. He cocked his head to the side, observing me. "I never considered being with a man, or committing double suicide with one, but I'll admit you're the ideal one." He looked away with a roguish grin. "You're rather handsome, after all."

I blushed at the compliment. "Then perhaps you should stick around and see more of me."

He laughed at this, causing me to nervously laugh as well. I hadn't meant to say that out loud but I guess the vodka had loosened my tongue. "Maybe I will, (y/n)...maybe I will."