ftm reader x various oneshot book

Tokoyami Fumikage///July

Requested by: NightslayerNightFury 

(I know you didn't request a song fic but I felt it matched the request kind of? And I've also really wanted to use this song in fic for a while, so...) (there's a lot of transphobia in this one smh..sorry it's so short!!)

(Also! I've decided to start listing what pronouns I'm using for each chapter. This one uses HE/HIM)

I've been holding my breath
I've been counting to ten
Over something you said

"Why would you want to be a boy?" "You're acting so weird!" "It's not right to be having theee kinds of weird feelings!" "There's something wrong with people like that, that's not who you are!" "What happened to our little girl?" "It's like I don't know you anymore!" "You don't want to go to hell, do you?"

He could never forget what his parents had said to him, but not for lack of trying.

I've been holding back tears
While you're throwing back beers
I'm alone in bed

The nights were the worst. The nights were when he could finally let out the tears he held throughout the day. Nights were when he could be finally, wonderfully alone. When he ran out of tears, when he finally calmed down, he could pretend everything was okay.

You know I'm afraid of change
Guess that's why we stay the same

He was afraid of what would happen if he stood up to them, if he just said I've had enough. He was scared to leave, but scared to stay. He let them say those terrible things, because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know how to change anything, so he didn't try.

So tell me to leave
I'll pack my bags, get on the road
Find someone that loves you
Better than I do, darling, I know
'Cause you remind me every day
I'm not enough, but I still stay

He wished he could leave. That he had somewhere better to stay. Anywhere would be better than here...but did he really want to live in the streets? No, of course not, but he often found himself daydreaming of a myriad of scenarios, in which he packed his bags and made his way out of that house.

Sometimes, he almost wished they'd kick him out. At least then he'd be free of them, of the fear of them. At least then he'd know they wouldn't come for him.

He wondered if they'd replace him once he left. 

Feels like a lifetime
Just trying to get by while we're dying inside
I've done a lot of things wrong
Loving you being one
But I can't move on

Twisted as it was, he still loved his parents. He didn't know how not to. They were all he'd known, the people who'd raised him, even if they weren't exactly doing things right. He wanted them to love him, so he tried to make them happy. But it was just so damn hard to do.

Days drug by, it was like walking through molasses. 

He wished he had the strength to leave.

You know I'm afraid of change
Guess that's why we stay the same

It's funny how things work out, isn't it?

That's what he thought when he met Tokoyami in the bookstore that day. Tokoyami was shopping for poetry, while (Y/n) was looking for manga, but when (y/n) saw the bird-headed boy he couldn't help but speak to him.