ftm reader x various oneshot book

Dabi///doubt

Reader's pronouns: he/they

Requested by my son, Aizawa_mic  I know you didn't request a songfic but I thought the song kinda fit the request..I hope you enjoy! (The song is Doubt by Twenty One Pilots, to anyone who's wondering) also, I hope I did okay with the alternating pronouns and that it's not confusing.

WARNING: mentions sensitive topics such as religious transphobia and implication of past self harm.

Scared of my own image 

(Y/n) couldn't stomach the thought of looking in the mirror today. He knew what he'd see, and that terrified him.

Scared of my own immaturity

Everyone said he was too young to know who he was. But how is that possible? Just because you're young doesn't mean you don't know yourself and what you're feeling.

Scared of my own ceiling

Scared I'll die of uncertainty 

Tonight was another night spent wide awake with no hopes of rest. Their thoughts turned against them, they couldn't help but think what if I'm not really a boy? What if no one really believes me? What if... what if Dabi doesn't believe me?

Fear may be the death of me

Fear leads to anxiety

Don't know what's inside of me

"Dabi?" They asked the next day, snuggling up to his boyfriend as they watched anime together. "Do you..do you really think I'm a guy?"

Immediately, Dabi grabbed the remote to pause the show. "(Y/n). Why on earth would you think that?"

"I..I don't know. It's just that..you know I'm trans. Wouldn't you rather be with- with a real guy?"

Dabi held onto (y/n)'s shoulders, making them look him in the eyes. "(Y/n), you are a real guy. A real guy who..who I love."

"Y-you do?"

Dabi sighed. "Of course I do."

"Oh." (Y/n) smiled, having forgotten his previous state of unhappiness. "I love you too, Dabi."

Don't forget about me, don't forget about me

Even when I doubt you, I'm no good without you

There were so many moments when (y/n) doubted Dabi. Doubted Dabi loved them, doubted he believed (y/n) was a boy. Just...doubted. But at the same time, he knew he needed Dabi. Without Dabi, (y/n) knew he'd be no good.

Temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping

I'm not sure if I can see this ever stopping

Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no

(Y/n) felt his health declining, even after Dabi's confession. There were days his dysphoria was so overwhelming, he could hardly stand the thought of leaving bed. But each time, Dabi was there to help.

"It's okay, (y/n)," Dabi reassured (y/n), scarred arms wrapped around them. "You're going to be okay. What's that show you keep trying to make me watch? We can watch that today."

"But don't you have stuff to do?"

"Not anymore," Dabi reassured him, planting a kiss on the top of (y/n)'s head. "You're more important. Shigaraki can just pitch another man-baby fit, who cares?"

(Y/n) chuckled. "Thanks, Dabi."

You are all that I've got, no

Don't forget about me, don't forget about me

Even when I doubt you, I'm no good without you.

(Y/n) liked the rest of the league, don't get me wrong, but...there were times when he felt isolated from them. He'd never really talked about being trans with them and, while he knew it would make no difference to any of them if they knew, he felt it was easier not to tell. But, it made things harder on him. It created a rift between him and the others.

Gnawing on the bishops, claw our way up their system

Repeating simple phrases, someone holy insisted

(Y/n) couldn't help but wonder why people hated him so much. Why they felt that them being themself was such a criminal thing. They just wanted to be able to live as who he wanted to be, without having to face the prejudices of others. But he would always be on the receiving end of hatred, especially amongst Christians. How many times had he been told he was going to hell? How many times had he been told he would never be a boy because "that's not what god wanted?" How many times had people told them they should stop listening to the devil?

Too many. And he'd hear it many more times in the future.

I want the markings made on my skin
To mean something to me again

(Y/n) looked down at his scars, running a finger across them. What was the point? What he'd done to himself had never helped. He still felt incompetent, inferior, false..

"You okay, (y/n)?" Dabi asked, noticing (y/n) had kind of spaced out.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm fine," (y/n) told him.

Dabi scoffed. "That's not true, but whatever." He wrapped an arm around (y/n)'s shoulders, laying his head on (y/n)'s. "Whatever it is, I'll be here. If you need to talk, or..whatever you need to do."

(Y/n) smiled, but it didn't reach their eyes. No, his eyes still held the melancholy he'd been feeling. But they were grateful to Dabi. "I know. I'm glad you're here." He reached up to give Dabi a brief kiss on the lips. "You know you can talk to me too, if you need to."

Dabi smiled. "Of course. No doubt about it."