I know you're going to read this at some point. But I can't talk to you right now so I'll say it here.
I can't talk to you, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I'm drowning and I can't get back up and I don't want to pull you down with me.
I love you, and being your CG, and I want you to live. I know you won't answer me at all, you're done with me. But I'm not sure what to do anymore.
I want to die. I want to end it all. I want to stop breathing and I want to give up. I want to just leave this world. But the only thing keeping me here is you. Because you do make me happy. Even though we don't talk a lot. You make me so so fucking happy.
And I just want you to know that no matter what you ever say, no matter what you ever do, I will always fucking love you. You will always be my little. You will always be Luca.
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me in all honesty. You're the only person I have in mind when I don't hurt myself. I wish I could be that for you but I know I'm not.
I know I'm only hurting you. So I'll leave. I'll end myself. I'll eliminate the problem. I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted to make you happy, and I failed.
So I guess this is my goodbye. I love you so fucking much. You mean so fucking much to me. And I want you to know that my time with you was amazing.
Goodbye, Lucas.
