Dear Danni,
I didnt want to be basic and put dairy but then I didnt know who to put. Im sorry if you dont like me putting your name, youre bound to read this one day. I mean you read my non-official entries somehow. I want to know why but I dont want to ask.
I have 2 weeks of college left thats only four lessons it feels like time has gone by so fast. Im glad Im taking a long break from Wattpad and selected social media. Its taken a little off my shoulders but it cant last long when Im free Ill start writing again.
My nana is having another check-up to see if theyve gotten rid of it all, I hope they do because I cant lose her yet. Its way too soon. I havent spent that much time with her at all yes shes always favoured my younger cousin and always spent her time with her. It kinda feels like Im being pushed into the shadows she only wants to know me when Im in her town instead of visiting me but I cant blame her she works night shifts and I cant expect people to have time for me. That would be selfish.
I got to hang out with my friend Natalie today her other friends came as well, it was so fun hanging out with them. But she doesnt respect my pronouns and calls me by my dead name i dont like that.
I made lots of things in college though!!! I made a lemon drizzle cake, a carrot cake, candied walnuts, and two batches of shortbread. It was so hard taking it home it was super heavy T^T. I met a new friend. Her name is Emily and her pronouns are she/they. One thing that confuses me is what she is. I dont wanna ask because itll be rude but. Shes from India, but shes got a wyt person name. I dont know if its a different name she wants to be called but Im confused because theres not a lot of diversity in India. I cant just ask her HeY aRe YoU bRoWn? CaN i SeE wHaT yOu LoOk LiKe? WhAt ArE yOu NaTiVe InDiAn Or A wHiTe PeRsOn?
I just cant ask her that its rude. But we message every day despite the fucking time difference Im behind by 4 hours and 30 mins. We dont talk that much but we talk. I wish I could talk to you more but were both busy nowadays. I work a lot now and youre on holiday and you have your own life I cant be holding you back it isnt fair. I do a lot of things that arent fair and I want to change that.
Im writing this so I can attempt to get better. I dont want to be put back on meds it wasnt good, it wasnt me.
Always, Luca
