"Is there anything I can do to get rid of lemon boy?" I silently ask the doctor, "I thought you could cope with it?" that was then this is now. "I want it to be gone, I can't take this anymore. I just wanna go"
"go where"
"i just wanna go"
"we can carry on with our weekly sessions and I'll perscribe some medication to take daily"
"and this will make lemon boy go? We're pulling the weeds?" I ask with faulse hope lingering inside me. "Lemon boy might grow back, but not as bad"
what was i hopeing for in the first place? I alwayd knew this wouldn't go away.
"ʜᴇʏ" lemon boy said early in the morning. "ᴛʜɪs ʙᴇᴅ ɪs sᴏ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ʟᴇᴛ's ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴛᴀʏ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ, ɪᴛ's ɴᴏᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ."
"I guess so, They wouldn't even know I'm not around. Let's stay here all day" lemon boy looks esthatic "ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴏɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ. Nᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴏᴜʀ ғᴏᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ sɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴅᴏ ᴡᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?"
i don't know "we'll see, I just feel drained so I guess we won't be moving at all"
"ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ONLY REAL ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ. Wᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ, ʟᴇᴛ's ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇᴇᴅs ɢʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ sᴄʀᴏʟʟ ᴀɪᴍʟᴇssʟʏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ"
"if thats what you want lemon boy, I guess you're my only friend."
✩✩incoming phone call✩✩
"hey y/n, uh I don't know hos to day this but, you're out of the friend group. it's weird you're personifying your depression. And to be honest it's getting too much for us we can't have bad vibes around us. I hope you get beyter then you can be our friend again"
-end call-
"ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ? Tʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴏғ ᴀ sᴀᴠᴏᴜʀʏ ᴛʏᴘᴇ, ɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛs ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ"
thats all i need.
But what if i do recover? Will Lemon boy still be here? What if i completely change? Will i even recognise myself anymore?
Why is lemon boy even here? If they go will bad thing continue to happen?
why should lemon boy cause me not to be care free. We're just like snuffkins and little my from moomin, whereever i go they will be there. lingering in the background.
no not in the background. It's here. Lemon boy is here. I can't pretend he's not here.
Lemon boy is just going to be here forever but I can still kick life's ass. Theirs still gunna be some hard moments but I can deal with them when they come. This is the way things will be.
i just have a citrus friend
