Maybe Forever (Levi x Eren)

(14) It hurts

[ Armin ]

I woke up to a burning smell, my eyes shot open, noticing Eren wasn't laying in my lap anymore. I snapped my body around, seeing Eren face the stove quietly as smoke rose. I jumped up and ran to the stove, shutting it off.

I sighed, looking towards him, his bangs covering his face with his head hung low. Leaning forward, I moved some strands from his face, a forced smile on his face with tear streaming down.

I panicked, grabbing his shoulder and made him face me. "Eren, what happened?"

He giggled, coming out raspy, then slowly stopped with a frown. "I could never get it right..."

[ Eren ]

God dammit, why do I cry so much? Maybe....what Levi said was true. Everything is my fault, I just have to accept that. No matter what, I'm always just a shitty brat...

The tears wouldn't stop falling, Armin's calls were tuned out, now focusing on my own thoughts. I thought I might be worrying Armin by now, maybe I look scary...

I wonder...

I pushed those thoughts away, knowing he doesn't care about me anymore. I just...why do I have to be such a nuisance? I began to emotionally and mentally abuse myself, staying still as Armin started to shake me fiercely.

I clenched my fists, pulling away from his grasp and walked towards the front door. I pulled on my coat, reaching for the door knob.

"Eren....?"

I sighed. "I'm going for a walk."

[ Levi ]

I walked around the house, nothing to do. I'd already clean every centimeter of this house at least five times, my head laid back with my eyes wandering up and down the ceiling.

Why...

Why does my chest...hurt so much?

I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair.

No, he doesn't matter anymore. Hell, I could be out and taking a good well earned walk. I know I need one. I stood from the couch, fixing my sweater, and slipping on my shoes at the front door.

"Alright.." With that, I walked out the door and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

While I walked down the sidewalks, my breath showed in the air. I looked up at the sky.

Winter...

Great.

My attention was turned away by something tugging on my jeans. I looked down, a stray dog chewing away at my shoelaces now. I glared and shook the dog off, shooing it away.

But it stayed, panting happily and wagged its tail, it's bright brown eyes looking up at me. The dog was skinny to the bone, but the somewhat smile stayed on the mutts face.

I squatted in front of it, carefully reaching and scratched behind its ears. I stood on all fours again, lunging forward and sent me to my back. I made a 'tch' sound, trying my best to push the dog away.

I finally got it off, the dog walking away and followed another person. I watched it do the same with another person, reminding me of a certain someone.

No no no.

Don't think of him.

He doesn't matter.

I then shoved my hands into my pockets again, continuing my slow and long walk down an anonymous sidewalk. A sudden sweet smell entered my nose, making my heart flutter, if I have one by now.

I followed the scent to a small bakery shop, walking in as the tiny doorbell rang. The cashier welcomed me, telling me to wait as they sat other customers down. I nodded and looked around the neat place, the sweet smell filling my lungs heavenly.

I felt calm, at ease...it's been awhile since I've felt this way before. Ever since...God dammit, I need to stop with this bullshit already. He doesn't matter to me anymore.

"Jeez..." I muttered, feeling another shoulder bump sides with me.

I turned my head with my usual glare and dark scowl, but my eyes widened once I saw who it was. I felt anger full my chest, my peace now gone.

"Armin." I growled, but said it low so no one else could hear.

He flinched, his blue eyes looking away. "You haven't seen Eren...have you? He just sort of...stormed out."

I looked at his fumbling hands, not sure if I wanted to speak with him. "It doesn't matter, I have nothing to do with him anymore."

He sighed, strands of his blonde hair sliding in front of his face. "Yeah, I know. But, I think he still might..."

I looked at the blonde from the corner of my eye, not wanting him to say another word.

"Love you..." I pinched the bridge of my nose, shaking my head.

"Like I said, it doesn't matter." He leaned forward, looking at me with baffled eyes.

"What?!" He yelled, making everyone in the bakery turn their heads.

My eyes darted back and forth, gripping onto his arm and shoved him out of the bakery. I threw him forward, watching him stumble. He tried showing a glare, but it just wasn't intimidating.

"He loves you..." He mumbled.

I clenched my fists.

"He still..."

"Shut up, Armin."

"Love you." My chest pounded, making my head hurt and my eyes sting.

"Shut up, shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!" I grabbed onto the sides of my head, leaning forward.

I didn't allow the tears to fall. Why are you making so many people miserable Eren. You really are a shitty brat.

I glanced once more at Armin, a smile on his face. He stepped aside, lifting his hand as if to show the way.

"Find him..." I looked ahead of me, thinking where could he be right now.

My eyes lit up, lunging forward with what strength I had. I don't know how long I've been running, no idea where I've been going, and no clue of what I'm going to do.

My muscles were growing sore, the cold air entering my lungs started to pain me.

Eren, you really are terrible.